


Falling: Season 2

by FantasiaWandering



Series: Falling [2]
Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2012)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Adventure, Family, Friendship, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-08
Updated: 2014-09-21
Packaged: 2018-02-16 14:16:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 32,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2272890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FantasiaWandering/pseuds/FantasiaWandering
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's been a year since Donatello caught her for the first time, and though April now knows that her new family will never let her fall, that doesn't mean there aren't a lot of challenges they still have to face. The adventures of the Hamato Family continue, with new challenges, new enemies, and new members of the family. Throughout it all, April continues to discover new depths and new secrets to the four brothers who've taken her into their lives.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The End of the World

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, yes, I know History Bites needs finishing, and it's in progress, I swear. But post season 2 premiere, I had to bash this one out. So yes, SPOLIERS FOR SEASON 2. Big time. I'm not sure what to make of the new lead writer, and I realize that I now have very much my own take on the family and their dynamics, but the events of the premiere left one very big issue that I was wondering about, so this is my way of working it out. Make of it what you will.
> 
> So happy first anniversary of Falling, you guys. I was hoping to have a History Bites for you, and it IS coming, but in the meantime, take this instead. And to celebrate the first anniversary, askthehamatofamily is now its own blog on tumblr. You guys were asking for a Falling!Gang ask blog for some time. You got it. Thank you all for an absolutely amazing year.
> 
> This takes place immediately after the first episode of Season 2.

**The End of the World**

* * *

 

Numbers and math. They were the code that ran the endlessly complex program that was the world as they knew it. Thoughts and emotions – they were the glitch in the code. Random, fleeting, unpredictable. There was no room for them in the code. The numbers, the math – they were constant. Reliable. Focus on the numbers. His tongue protruded a little as he concentrated, manipulating the chemical cocktail derived from the traces left on the shattered canister. Focus on the—

**_I never want to see your faces_ ** **ever** **_again!_ **

A tremor ran through his hand, spilling too much of the catalyst, and he watched in helpless defeat as yet another experiment fizzled and turned dark, bubbling into uselessness. He stared at the vial of sludge for one long, agonized, endless moment before he hurled it against the opposite wall with a bitter cry.

"Whoa!" Raph had been passing through the doorway as the vial hit, and he stared at the black ooze dripping down the wall before turning his attention back to Donnie. "You still at it? Did you even sleep?"

Donnie shook his head and returned to the desk, pulling out the tools he needed to scrape together another sample. "I can sleep," he said, his voice brittle, "when April has her dad back."

Raph took a careful step toward him, looking for all the world like he'd rather be anywhere else. "Donnie…" he said slowly, and sighed. "It was an accident, man. We screwed up, but it's not like we meant for any of this to happen."

Donatello's head snapped toward Raphael, and he slammed his tools down on the table. "You think I don't know that? That doesn't make April any less hurt!" Tugging his goggles down into place, he gave a sharp, angry shake of his head. "You wouldn't understand."

A strong hand grabbed at him, yanking his goggles back up, and Donatello glared straight into Raphael's furious green eyes. "You are so self-centred, you know that? You think you're the only one who's upset? I don't like it when April's hurt either, okay? Normally, something happens to her and I'm right there ready to punch whatever hurt her in the face. Only in this case, that's us, which doesn't really work out so well for anybody. So unless there are some Kraang around here that I don't know about, the only option I've got is to hang around until you and Leo come up with a plan and tell me what to hit. So yeah, I think I _understand_." He let go of Donnie's goggles and stepped back, shaking his head. "She'll come around, bro. Storming off in a rage? That, I get. Give her some time before you go beating yourself up."

Donnie had been trying to focus on the numbers. He had. But every word Raphael said wound his already-frayed nerves tighter and tighter, until at last, there was nothing left for them to do but snap. Lunging forward, he shoved at Raph, sending him staggering back.

"Who else am I supposed to beat up?" he snapped. "We  _mutated_  her father, Raph! Her life as she knew it is done. It's the end of the world for her, and it's all our fault, and you're telling me not to beat myself up? Seriously, Raph, do you even care at all?"

He was expecting the swing. It was  _Raph._  But even so, he hadn't been prepared for the force or the fury behind it, and it sent him sprawling. As he glowered up at his brother, rubbing his aching chin, Raph loomed over him with his hands planted on his hips.

"Of  _course_  I care! I  _hate_  that April's sad, okay? I'm sorry she's hurt. And I'm sorry that her dad's gone. I'm sorry that he got turned into something he didn't want to be. And if there's anything I can hit that will help April get her dad back faster, just point me at it and I'll beat it into the ground. But  _don't_  expect me to get all broken up like you just because her dad's a  _mutant._ "

Struggling back to his knees, Donnie narrowed his eyes as he grabbed at the desk for support. "What's that supposed to mean?"

With a strangled cry of frustration, Raph threw up his hands in defeat. "Jeez, Donnie, for a smart guy, you are really dumb sometimes! You're acting like her dad getting turned into a mutant is the end of the world. But if having a mutant for a dad is the worst thing ever, what does that say about  _Splinter_?" His voice cracked on the word, and he took a step back, his arms folding across his chest defensively. "What does that say about  _us,_  man?"

And then, as Donnie watched, that moment of open vulnerability was gone, and Raph's face shuttered closed again.

"Forget it," Raph muttered. "Sometimes, I just don't  _get_  you."

Shaken, Donnie pulled himself back to his feet and flung himself back into his chair. He couldn't bring himself to meet Raph's gaze as the words hung raw between them, daring him to acknowledge them. But he wasn't sure if he was ready for that. Wasn't sure he could handle the truths about himself that they would uncover. So instead, he just pulled his goggles down again and picked up the broken container. "Then why did you come looking for me?"

"I didn't," Raph said, already halfway to the door. He paused in the doorway, one hand on the frame, and glanced over his shoulder. "I was looking for Mikey."

And then he was gone. Donnie shook his head, focusing once again on the work in front of him and letting the numbers flow. Letting them wash over him and wash the uncomfortable glitches of emotion away. Numbers made sense. Numbers were constant. Numbers didn't lie. Numbers-

_I was looking for Mikey._

Sighing, Donnie pulled the goggles off his head and spun his chair around. Easing himself to his feet, he made his way across the lab, absently patting Timothy's canister as he passed, and paused at the array of monitors displaying his attempts to synthesize the human musculoskeletal system.

On the other side of them, huddled in the shadows, Mikey raised his head from his knees. Most of the costume was gone, but the tea strainer goggles hung loose around his neck. "Some superhero I turned out to be, buzz buzz." He looked away, and there was no trace of his earlier glee in his expression now. He sighed, his voice quieter than Donnie had heard it in a long time. "I was just trying to make her feel better."

With a soft shake of his head, Donnie quietly pushed the numbers aside and held out his hand. "Come on, Mikey. You can help me gather a sample."

Mikey took his hand, letting Donnie pull him to his feet, and looked up at him hopefully. "Can I run the centrifuge?"

"No."

"Can I mix the acid burny things?"

"No."

As Donnie returned to his desk, Mikey followed him like an eager puppy. "Can I make the fizzy thing do the whooshy stuff?"

"N—oh, forget it." He turned and reached into the shelves where he kept his chemical supplies. A few minutes later, he set a beaker of baking soda in a dish in front of his brother, and placed a bottle of vinegar in his hand. "Yes. You can make the fizzy thing do the whooshy stuff."

"Thanks, Donnie," Mikey said, and studiously set about dropping vinegar into the baking soda as Donnie returned to his calculations. They worked together in silence for a while, Mikey solemnly watching the baking soda bubble and overflow its container, until he looked up at Donnie.

"If anyone is gonna figure this out, Donnie, it's you. That's what I meant, is all."

Donnie blinked at that, and allowed himself the ghost of a smile. With a soft, somewhat self-deprecating laugh, he reached out and patted his brother's shell. "That's okay, Mikey. I think we all said and did the wrong things last night." He looked down at the canister on his desk, and his hand tightened into a fist as determination filled his heart. "It's not the end of the world."

 


	2. Picking up the Pieces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This interlude takes place immediately after Slash and Destroy, and covers a little bit of where April was during this episode.

 

**Picking up the Pieces (an interlude)**

* * *

 

Donnie stared down at the letter in his hand, and for a rare moment, all other thoughts in his head were silent as he attempted to process exactly what it was that he was looking at. "Is… is this for real?"

April's feet swung gently as she perched on his desk, her blue eyes unusually serious. "Yeah. I mean, I had to use my name on the forms, and my aunt doesn't really know what to think, but… it's for real. It's happening."

"What is happening?"

Donnie looked over as the soft voice drifted from the doorway, sighing as Splinter entered with Leo in tow. Wordlessly, he held up the letter to his father, and watched the confusion on the rat's features as he scanned the letter. Splinter looked up at Donnie with a question in his eyes. "I do not understand."

"Donnie…" Leo's glanced shifted from Donnie to April. "What's going on?"

With a quiet groan, Donnie sagged back in his chair, resting his arm against the desk next to April, and it was a measure of his tangled thoughts that it only brought a small smile to his face when April moved her hand to his arm in silent support.

"It's the equipment I invented to monitor Timothy." He glanced over at monitors surrounding the frozen form in the corner as a pang of guilt shot through him. April's hand tightened on his arm, and he brought up his free hand to cover hers. "I was doing some reading through medical journals, seeing if I could get any ideas on how to improve it, and I kinda realized that what I'd made could do things that current tech can't. So I sorta… patented it."

"You  _what?"_  Leo exclaimed, staring at him in disbelief.

Donnie frowned at him. "Well, not  _me._  I can't exactly walk into the patent office looking like  _this_." He blinked, biting his lip a little, and peeped up at his  _sensei,_ who was still staring incredulously at the letter. "April did."

"I filled out all the paperwork, but Donnie's co-credited on the patent," April clarified. "The ideas are all Donnie's. I just did the legwork."

"And as it turns out… they want it." Donnie shifted again, lowering his hands to his lap so he could fidget with the tape around his fingers. "Apparently the medical community could… what were the words?"

"Benefit greatly from this contribution to humanity," April said.

"Yeah." Donnie looked up again. "I'm getting paid for it. A lot, as it turns out."

"It's coming to my account, but of course it's all yours." A wry grin touched April's face. "At least they've stopped complaining about my grades in trig. My aunt was kind of confused, but I  _am_  a Science Olympian."

With a soft sound of concern, Splinter passed the letter to Leo. Donnie watched Leo's eyes widen as he skimmed the letter, and a small squeak burst from him as he reached the part with all the zeroes.

"This is an event of monumental importance, and it is true that this will be of great help to our family." Splinter paused, and Donnie closed his eyes momentarily as Splinter rested his hand on Donnie's shoulder, the familiar feeling of comfort and support from his sensei washing through him and easing some of the conflict within him. "But I do not understand why so fortuitous an event seems to trouble you so."

Donnie opened his eyes again, letting his gaze drift toward the monster in the corner who had once been a lost and somewhat clueless kid who'd looked up to him. "It just feels like I'm profiting off what we did to Timothy and I'm not… I'm not sure how to handle that. I mean, that money'll buy a few things that will help with my research, but it's not like it's gonna bring him  _back."_

"Hmm." Splinter folded his hands behind his back, regarding Donatello with patient thoughtfulness. "It is indeed an ethical dilemma. But if you cannot use it to help Timothy, perhaps there is another issue in which we share responsibility that might benefit from this sudden affluence?"

"Umm," Leo lowered the letter, holding up a tentative hand. "Can I make a suggestion?"

* * *

It was really cold out. She shivered, holding Ruffles McBearington closer. It had been snowing a little bit earlier, but that had stopped now, which was good. The snow was getting in the holes in her room, and she didn't want it snowing on her things. They'd only been able to take a few things with them to the place they were staying while their house was broken, and she was worried about her other toys. Her nose wrinkled a little as she thought about that other place. It was really crowded, and it smelled kind of funny sometimes, and she didn't like how they had to eat and share the TV with a whole bunch of other families.

She shivered as she looked up at the house again. Daddy was close by, arguing with the man who was supposed to fix their house. She wasn't sure why the man wasn't fixing it, or what an insurance was, or why whatever insurance was wouldn't fit over their house -– why would you want to cover a house, anyway? -– but whatever it was, it was making Daddy really sad, so she didn't like it. Daddy had told her the other day that Santa might not be able to find them this year if there was a hole in their house, but she wasn't sure she believed him. She was used to not having as many toys and things as her friends, and instead of going to the big stores like her friends did, they usually got her things from little places like the man who had sold them the lamp full of green tea. But Santa was magic. Even if there was a hole in her house, Santa should still be able to find them. That's what Santa was  _for._

She looked up again, and frowned. Daddy looked like he was going to cry. He'd cried a few times since the big turtles made the holes in her room and the other parts of the house fell down and the men with the bills had come. Setting her jaw, she pushed herself off the front stoop and marched toward where Daddy and the bad insurance man were fighting. She was going to give him a piece of her mind. If the insurance man didn't start being good, Santa wouldn't be visiting _anyone_  this year.

But before she could reach Daddy, someone else did.

The lady had pretty red hair, and was wearing a fancy suit like office ladies wore, even though she was kind of tippy in her fancy shoes, and she was talking to herself a little, like she had an imaginary friend. But she stopped talking to herself once she saw Daddy, straightening up and clearing her throat as she pulled an envelope out of a bag she was carrying.

"Oh, there you are," she said, but stopped and put a hand up to her ear, turning to make a face at the rooftop across the road. "This is your lucky day, sir! I represent - _I know_  - a corporation called - _ow!_ " She glanced up again, glaring as something from the rooftop hit the back of her head. "A corporation called _O'NEIL TECH!_ " She looked back at Daddy and cleared her throat. "And I'm very pleased to inform you that you are the recipient of this year's Holiday Endorsement Bursary Foundation Endowment Appreciation Award."

Daddy stared at the nice lady, who kicked at the thing that had hit her head. It looked like a chestnut, but that was silly. There weren't any chestnut trees around. Just the man down the street who sold them out of a cart, but he went home ages ago.

One of Daddy's eyebrows lifted. "Aren't you a little young to represent a corporation?"

"I get that a lot," the lady said. "But when you're representing a corporation as large as ours, it's important to look your best. Whoa!"She teetered for a minute in her shoes before she steadied herself and gave Daddy a big smile.

"I don't understand," Daddy told the nice lady.

"Every year at this time, O'Neil Tech-  _ow!_ " She kicked away another chestnut. "-gives an endorsement to a family in need, and this year we picked you. Congratulations!" She passed the envelope to Daddy.

Daddy opened the envelope slowly, pulling out a piece of paper, and his face went white as he covered his mouth with his hand. She hugged Ruffles closer, not sure what was going on as Daddy's eyes filled with tears again. But now he was yelling, and hugging the nice lady so hard that she was off the ground, and one of her fancy shoes fell off as Daddy jumped around with her.

"Sir, that's- oof - I'm very glad you're - urk - I  _can't breathe!"_

Daddy let out a yelp as a chestnut hit  _him_  this time, and put the nice lady back on her feet. The nice lady stumbled over to where her shoe had fallen, and stuck her tongue out at it before putting it back on her foot. The nice lady saw that she was watching, and reached out to tousle her hair and pat Ruffles McBearington. "This is a bad time of year to have a hole in your house," she said, struggling back to her feet and wobbling before she caught her balance. "Hopefully, this should cover it."

"It will," Daddy said, wiping his eyes. "And then some."

* * *

After the nice lady gave them the envelope with the paper in it, the men didn't fight with Daddy anymore. The holes in their house were fixed really fast, and the place where they were staying until the work was done was much nicer this time, with big comfy beds and a TV in their room and room service that brought good food to them. Even so, it was nice to be back in her own bed. She lay there, long after Daddy had tucked her in and kissed her good night, she wondered how the nice lady had known that their house had holes in it, and whether the bad turtles would come back to make more.

There was a soft sound from the darkness, and she opened her eyes. There was a new nightlight on her bedside table - she'd been missing one since the green tea lamp that was supposed to have replaced her old broken one disappeared - and in the soft pink light, she could see a funny little squashed teapot on her tea table with a bright red bow around the handle. Two cups sat next to the pot, steam rising from the warm tea inside them. She smiled, burying her head against the pillow, and blinked sleepily.

"Thank you, Mr. Turtle."

And out of the shadows by her window came a soft, whispered, "you're welcome."

She snuggled deeper beneath the cover as her window slid closed. She could sleep now. No more worrying about bad turtles making holes in her room. She had a good turtle now to take care of her.

* * *

"[Learning to Walk the Walk](http://fantasiawandering.tumblr.com/post/73265010294/the-absolutely-fabulous-taiyari-made-this-little)" commission by taiyari

"[Master of Balance](http://wtf-skittens.tumblr.com/post/68691660090/i-apologise-profusely-for-my-inability-to-draw)" by wtf-skittens

"[Mikey's Guide to Being FABULOUS](http://allthedoodlez.tumblr.com/post/68725532548/mikeys-guide-to-being-fabulous-im-sorry-i-am)" by allthedoodlez

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, Mikey totally had to teach April how to walk in heels. His balance is surprisingly good.


	3. Panacea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which memories surface and probably save a life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I usually try to write things so that you don't have to have read anything else in Falling, but this interlude is something of a sequel to Caduceus, and won't make that much sense if you haven't read it. It takes place post-"Slash and Destroy."

 

**Panacea (an interlude)**

* * *

 

There was a chill in the air that bit into him as he moved across the rooftops. Good. The pain would keep him moving. Keep him sharp. He had a lot of work ahead of him if he was going to put things right.

He'd been sloppy. That was the problem. He'd underestimated just how deep those other three had their hooks into Raph. Dragging him down. Making him weak. He should never have let Raph see when he dealt with them. Raph couldn't take it. They'd made him too soft. Which ruled out going back to the lair to finish them off - not yet, anyway. If the brothers were bad, the rat was even worse. But there were other things that he  _could_  take care of. Other loose ends that would be easier to tie off. Leaving Raph unburdened. Making him free.

And a lesson about how friends didn't throw friends off of buildings couldn't hurt, either.

Slash raised his head, scenting the wind. Still there. Still ridiculously easy to track. The scent wasn't as strong as one of the canisters, but she still stank of Kraang. Skidding to a halt, he peered over the edge of the rooftop; a small smile of victory crept across his face as he spotted the girl, red hair bright against the darkness.

_Gotcha._

He swung down from the roof, dropping to the concealing gloom of the back alleys as he maneuvered into position. One of the streetlights down the road was out. The timing couldn't be better. Grab her, knock her senseless, but don't do too much damage. No, the damage would be done when he brought her back downtown and threw her from the nearest rooftop onto the grate above the dojo. Message delivered.

Shadows slid around him like smoke as he made his way toward her, a low growl rumbling in the back of his throat. She had this coming. Always hanging around, taking up Raph's attention with her stupid computer, getting Raph into trouble. This whole situation was her fault. Raph would never have gotten involved with the Kraang and mutagen if she hadn't been there.

His eyes narrowed behind the black mask, and as the darkness at the mouth of the alley swallowed her, he struck.

She was fast, he gave her that much. He'd meant to take her by surprise, but she was already moving by the time he reached her, drawing that stupid fan out from wherever it was that she kept it. Before she could flick it open, his hand was around hers, engulfing it and half her arm in the process. Stupid tiny weak human. He could rip her arm clean offwithout even thinking twice about it. She was so frail. So weak. But no, that would be too much. She'd never make it back to the lair alive if he did that. So he settled for yanking her off her feet and tossing her into the nearest wall.

The rising wind swallowed her cry, and the impact of her head against the wall cut it short. She crumpled to the ground, groaning and dazed, and he smiled as he moved toward her. Too easy. Curling his fingers slowly into a fist, relishing the sensation of power that ran through him as his claws dug into his palm, he raised his fist above her head. The wind shifted again, carrying her scent to him, and he breathed deeply of his victim, drinking in the stink of the weakness that he was about to eliminate from the world.

But there was something else beneath the stench. Something soft. Sweet. Familiar...

**_Fear. Fear, and pain, and the panic in big brother's eyes. Big brother is afraid. Big brother is never afraid. Big brother is giving him away NO! Why? Brother, WHY? But then soft hands, and warmth, wrapping him against the cold. Movement, and white walls, and a steel table, COLD, and more hands, and prodding, and_ ** **pain** **_,_ ** **it HURTS, but** **_then the gentle hands are back, and a quiet voice, and the warmth, and a strong heartbeat pounding beneath him as the sweetly-scented warmth surrounds him and shelters him against the cold._ **

**_"There you go, buddy. You're gonna be just fine. Now let's get you back to Raph so we can get you all patched up, huh?"_ **

**_The brush of lips, soft and sweet against his head, and he curls up against the warmth, knowing that he is safe, and loved, and will come to no further harm so long as he remains in her arms._ **

His fist trembled, frozen in the air, but it wouldn't fall. Slash stared down at the limp form at his feet, the tendrils of her scent coiling around him, and for a moment, just a moment, he no longer felt the cold.

* * *

It didn't take her long after that to wake up, groggy and disoriented, and of course she called for the turtles as soon as she could make her fingers work the phone. Typical. From the concealment of the shadows on the roof across the street, he watched as they swarmed over her, comical in their panic. That's what attachments did. They made you a fool. Pathetic.

It was Raph who lifted her into his arms, and as her head lolled against his shoulder, Raph looked up, those green eyes searching the darkness where Slash hid. Despite himself, Slash shrank back. Raphael couldn't possibly know - the girl had barely seen him, and even if she had, she was too out of it to say much anyway. But the rage in Raph's eyes burned through the cold, and for an instant, Slash was afraid.

Then Raph looked away and followed his brothers back into the sewers, carrying the girl with him. More dead weight dragging him down. Shaking his head in disgust, Slash moved off, striking back out across the city.

He'd do it eventually. Prune back the deadfall, bit by bit, strengthening Raphael in the process like a blade forged by fire. The pain would temper him. Eliminate the softness. Then Raph would be strong enough to accept Slash as his partner, the way it was meant to be.

But, he thought as he leaped to another rooftop, shivering as the cold sought out the chinks in his shell, there was no reason he had to do it alone. No reason why he had to waste his time on weaklings who weren't worth his attention. There were plenty of mutants running around the city by now who had a beef against the turtles. He'd find one of them _._ Get them riled up. And then he could let  _them_  take care of the girl.

The winter wind dragged against him, washing over his skin, until the last traces of that sickly-sweet warmth were gone.


	4. Onions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which April exhibits culinary skills that fix more than just the soup.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's one more to round out the set, from a drabble posted on my tumblr.

 

**Onions**

* * *

"You know what you need?"

Wincing, April looked up at Mikey. The bump on her head had gone down significantly overnight, but it had left a dull ache behind, along with a wealth of bruising. Bruising that matched his, truth be told.

"I dunno," she said. "What?"

"Chicken soup!" He grabbed her arm — the one that wasn't mottled with dark bruising from the attacker she hadn't even seen — and started dragging her toward the stairs.

"What—Mikey—whoa!" She stumbled after him, struggling to keep her balance. Not that she actually thought he'd let her fall. He'd been almost overwhelmingly attentive since they'd found her in the alley. "I'd love to oblige, but you know Donnie's grounded me on account of possible head trauma."

"Pssh, we're not going topside, sis. We're gonna make it!" He grinned over his shoulder at her. "Nothin' cures what ails ya like homemade chicken soup!"

April raised a brow, then stopped, because it hurt. "It's not gonna have pizza in it, is it?"

"Naw, that's for making stuff  _interesting._ Not  _healthy._ " He ducked through the doorway, courteously holding the curtain aside until she could pass through, his other hand still on her elbow to steady her.

"No algae and worms, either."

"You gotta stop hatin' on the algae and worms, girl. It's offensive to my culture." He grinned at her. "But naw, this is _your_  soup. Nothing you don't want in it."

He didn't let go of her until she was seated at the table, whereupon he went to the cupboards and rummaged through them, pulling out a cutting board and setting it and a knife in front of her. "You can help chop stuff."

But as he shoved a pile of vegetables toward her, turning away quickly to pull a can of chicken stock off the shelf, she couldn't help frowning a little. "Mikey? You okay?"

"Huh?" he glanced over his shoulder at her, his expression unguarded for just a moment before the jovial grin was back in place. "Sure! I mean, you can't fix everything with soup. But it's a start, right?"

April's eyes widened in sudden understanding. They'd told her what happened, and since they'd brought her back, she'd watched Raph alternate between extreme doting on his family and moments of quiet, intense brooding, and the more Mikey tried to cheer Raph out of it, the worse it got. She understood. She was no stranger to loss like the one Raph had suffered. But she also knew what helped make it feel a bit better. And knew that Raph was going to need a little help getting there.

She pulled the cutting board toward her, selecting the largest onion and driving through it with a savage chop. An instant later, she let out a cry that had Mikey leaping to her side, his massive hands grabbing hers and turning them anxiously. "What happened? Did you cut yourself? Do I need to get Donnie?"

"No," she said lighltly, then raised her voice. " _ **I'm just having some trouble with these onions.**_ **"**

Mikey winced, clearing out an ear with his finger. "Geez, April, I don't think they heard you in Poughkeepsie."

"Have patience, grasshopper," April murmured sagely.

A second later, the curtain over the doorway jerked aside, and Raph stormed into the kitchen. Without a word, he stomped up to the table and plonked himself down on the opposite side, reaching across and yanking the cutting board over. "Then let someone who knows what they're doing have a go."

He hacked savagely through the onions, making short work of them. And as he chopped, a slow, steady stream of tears trickled down his face. He looked up once, catching April and Mikey staring at him, and frowned. "What? It's the  _onions._ "

"Of course it is," April said, and quietly started peeling a carrot.

"Ohhhh," Mikey breathed in her ear. "Girl, you are gooood."

"I know." She looked up at him. "I've had practice."

Without another word, Mikey reached over and hugged her tightly from behind before moving back to the counter to deal with the chicken. Slowly, the pile of vegetables grew, and the comforting, homey smell of chicken soup began to filter through the lair, and a great deal of heated argument took place on the subject of spices, and by the time they were sitting down to eat it, all three of them were laughing so hard that there was no need for the onions anymore.

 


	5. Family Traditions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which family traditions are shared, bringing light to an unusually dark season.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Holidays, everyone. This was a birthday/Christmas present for my wonderful friend Sameth. I hope that this season finds you warm and safe and surrounded by loved ones, just as April is.

 

**Family Traditions**

* * *

 

The brass ornament in her hands glittered in the rainbow lights of the tree. She traced a finger over it, reacquainting herself with the familiar lines of the reclining unicorn with the wreath of holly around her neck, and the neat, cursive "April" engraved on the unicorn's flank. With a soft, wistful smile, she reached up to place it in the branches of the tree, currently fragrant with the very nice artificial pine scent they had bought as a compromise so that April could have a tree that smelled like a proper tree, and Kirby didn't have to put up with hayfever all Christmas.

Her smile slipped a little at that, but she'd promised herself she wouldn't think about the large, dad-shaped hole in her life right now. This was not a time for being sad. Setting the little unicorn in its place, she stepped back with her hands on her hips and stared at it with satisfaction as it danced and caught the light.

"Does that one have a story?" a soft voice at her shoulder asked. She turned with a smirk. "Leo, I told you, they  _all_  have stories." She gestured toward the unicorn. "Mom wanted something special for my first Christmas. Something that would last a really long time."

"And she liked unicorns?" Leo rested his elbow against her shoulder, looking at the ornament.

"Not particularly," April said, grinning at the story she'd heard time and time again. "But she kept putting it off, and putting it off, and finally, the last place open that'd do it on Christmas Eve had two ornaments left: this one and a dinosaur."

"A dinosaur would've been less lame," said Raph from where he sat in the pit pretending he wasn't listening.

"Maybe," April said. "But there was a little boy there who really wanted the dinosaur, and Mom couldn't say no once she looked into his eyes. Besides—" Mikey had started making popcorn chains before he'd been distracted by dinner preparation and wandered off; April picked up a handful of popcorn from the abandoned bowl next to the tree and tossed it at Raph. "—in some stories, unicorns are giant creatures with blood-red faces who breathe poison and impale their enemies with their horns."

That made him glance up from his comic. "Seriously?"

"Yup," she said.

"Huh." Raph picked up a kernel of popcorn and chewed on it thoughtfully. "I may have to reassess the coolness of unicorns."

Grinning, April took another ornament from a snickering Leo. She had been uncertain when Splinter had invited her to bring her holiday stuff to the lair, for though her aunt had her own decorations, meaning that April had had nowhere to put hers up, she hadn't known how she'd feel this year indulging in traditions that had always been between her and her dad. But she had to admit, aside from a pang or two here and there, she was actually having fun. Far more than she had thought she could, given the circumstances—

Catching herself, she gave herself a little mental shake.  _Not thinking about that._

"April!" Donnie appeared in the doorway of his lab, beaming fit to burst. "I found it!"

April gasped. "You didn't!" She clapped her hands gleefully. "I thought it was gone forever!"

Donnie sauntered over to the TV and plugged a flash drive into the USB interface he'd installed. "Oh ye of little faith. I keep telling you, if a file exists on the internet, I can find it." Grabbing the remote, he punched a button and the TV came to life, filling the lair with happy, tinkling music as a host of stop-motion animated elves danced across the screen.

Laughing, April threw her arms around Donnie and hugged him tightly. "Thank you, Donnie! It wouldn't be a proper Christmas without  _Adventures in the Land of Ice and Snow_!"

"You're losing cool points again," Raph muttered.

April turned her head to stick her tongue out at him before returning her attention to Donnie, rising up on her toes so that she could kiss his cheek in thanks. That got a giggle out of him, but he returned her enthusiastic hug instead of falling over this time, for which she was very glad. She knew it was a silly little kids' Christmas special. But for April, it was as much a Christmas tradition as the tree and the turkey, and she'd been heartbroken to open the box this year only to find the DVD snapped in half. But before she had been able to let herself get worked up over it, Donnie had come to her rescue, as he always did.

Raph rolled his eyes and abandoned his comic, wandering off in the direction of the kitchen as the magic of the elves ramped up to extreme levels of cheese. Donnie and Leo exchanged a glance, but smiled good-naturedly as April danced her way around the tree, humming along with the songs she had memorized as a little girl. The rest of the ornaments were quickly distributed, the more delicate ones passed off to Donnie so that he could hang them up high, and as the intrepid elves battled their way through the Path of Forgetful Frost, Leo helped her finish off Mikey's popcorn chain so that they could hang that, too. And if half the popcorn was consumed in the process, it was between them and Santa Claus.

Finally, April stood back and surveyed the finished tree with a nod of satisfaction. "Only one thing left," she said. Returning to the boxes of Christmas supplies the guys had helped her drag from storage, she picked up an old, battered shoebox. Lifting the lid, she carefully parted the tissue inside to reveal the antique angel. It had belonged to her grandfather, and rather than being one of those frou-frou collections of fur and glitter that proliferated the shelves today, it looked like it had flown straight out of a renaissance painting – a little ironic, given her present company, she thought with a smile. The angel lifted a long trumpet to his lips, his blue robes sculpted to look like they were blowing in an unseen breeze.

"When I was little," she said, "Dad used to lift me up so I could put it on the top. I know it's silly, but it always made me feel really special." She looked over at the two turtles with a sheepish grin. "I guess… I felt like I was flying with the angel, you know?" Cradling the angel carefully between her hands, she rose to her feet and offered it to Donnie.

Leo and Donnie exchanged another one of those looks, and before she quite knew what was happening, strong green hands seized her around the waist. Her stomach fluttered a little as her feet left the ground, and she found herself staring down into the smiling faces of her adopted brothers as Donnie held her high enough to reach the top.

Feeling her cheeks growing red, she reached out and secured the angel to the top of the tree using the extremely high-tech solution of her dad's devising – an elastic band around the angel's sculpted wings, which had come off and been re-glued countless times over the course of her childhood. Once the angel was secure, Donnie lowered her back to the ground, and as she looked up at the finished tree, she was smiling so hard it almost hurt.

"Beautiful," she said, staring up at the tree.

"…yeah," Donnie sighed, staring at April. Leo elbowed him in the side and he let out a little 'whuff,' clearing his throat and refocusing his attention on the tree.

Shaking her head fondly, April reached out and drew both of the turtles close, her arms around as much of their shells as she could reach. As the solid weight of their arms settled across her shoulders, she leaned her head against Leo's arm. "Thanks, guys," she said, and her voice only betrayed the tightness in her throat a little. "I mean it. I…I missed this."

"It's our pleasure, April," Donnie said in all sincerity.

"Besides which, Mikey's loved this stuff since we first discovered Christmas specials on cable," Leo added dryly. "It's nice to actually do it properly for a change."

"Oh, that reminds me!" Ducking out from under their arms and ignoring the little "awww!" from Donnie, she ran to the pile of bags she'd dragged with her and hauled the largest of them over. "It's not a proper tree without presents!"

The faded tree skirt covered in glittering silver sequined snowflakes had caught her eye when she was eleven, and she'd fallen instantly in love with it, so much so that her dad had kept it long after its natural lifespan. Smoothing it out and resettling a few loose sequins, April drew several large, brightly-wrapped boxes out of her bag and distributed them under the tree. "There!" she exclaimed. "That's—"

" _Raphael!_ " Mikey's infuriated voice burst from the kitchen. "If you keep picking at that turkey before it's cooked properly, you're gonna get worms, I swear! You had better—"

There was a moment of silence, followed by a scream of horror that had Leo, April, and Donnie sprinting for the kitchen. They burst through the curtain, Leo just slightly in the lead, and he skidded to a halt, a tanto in his hand despite the fact that they were supposed to keep weapons in the dojo when they weren't using them and it hadn't been apparent anywhere on him just seconds earlier. "What?" Leo looked around frantically. "What's wrong? Mutants? Aliens?"

A look of rage on his face that April rarely ever saw, Mikey pointed an accusing finger at Raph. "He  _ate_ the chestnuts!"

Raph, his eyes wide, swallowed and held up his hands. "What? I like chestnuts!"

Mikey grabbed a wooden spoon from the counter and launched himself at Raph with a bloodcurdling screech. Grabbing a soup ladle, Raph put up a valiant defense, but an enraged Mikey tended to take everyone by surprise. Within moments, Raph had been disarmed and pinned against the counter as April and the others watched in astonishment.

"I needed those chestnuts for the stuffing!" Mikey growled. "Without chestnuts, there's no stuffing, and then April's Christmas will be  _ruined_!" He jabbed a finger in April's direction. "Look at that face! Do you want to tell her that you  _ruined her Christmas?_ "

"Honestly, I'm fine without the—" April began.

"Fine!" Raph huffed. "I'll get the stupid chesntuts."

"Great!" Instantly cheerful again, Mikey kissed Raph's head before letting him go, good-naturedly taking Raph's subsequent punch in the arm. "Be back in an hour."

April coughed in an attempt to stifle her grin. "I'd better come. It'll make the transaction part a lot easier."

"I'll come too," Donnie said immediately.

"Fine," Raph said. "You get her coat, I'll get the weapons."

"I can get my own coat," April said, scowling a little.

Raph laid a hand on her shoulder. " _You_  need to reassure  _him_. _"_

Back over at the counter, Mikey was poking forlornly at the dishes he was preparing. April rolled her eyes and gave Raph a quiet "fine" before she butted her head against his. He grinned at her and slipped out of the kitchen after Donnie, leaving April and Leo to deal with the aftermath of Hurricane Mikey.

She crossed over to him, putting her arm around his shoulders. "Mikey," she said gently. "I'm going to be happy no matter what you make."

He looked up at her, his blue eyes wide. "But this dinner is supposed to be special."

April's smile widened, and she hugged him tightly. "Anything you make is gonna be special." She grinned at him, and tapped his nose. "But leave it to me. I'll make sure we get you what you need."

Mikey answered her smile with one of his own, and gave her a rib-cracking hug before letting her escape to the others. "All right, Leo," she heard as she let the curtain fall behind her. "If this dinner is gonna be ready in time, you're gonna have to let  _me_  be the leader now…"

Rejoining the others, April accepted her coat and scarf from Donnie as Raph descended the dojo steps, tossing Donnie's bō to him as April struggled into her things. Zipping up her coat, she fell into step with the boys as they headed topside. As she looked from one to the other, she couldn't help but smile – the last time she'd been between the two of them like this, it had been on her first visit to the lair over a year ago. It was hard to believe that it had been that long, and yet she was also having trouble remembering a time when the guys hadn't been in her life.

The conversation as they ambled through the tunnels was light, drifting from the best vegetable side dish to serve with a turkey dinner, to the elves' battle with the Fearsome Frost Giant, to the very serious matter of who would win in a fight: Santa Claus or Frosty the Snowman. Finally, they reached the right exit, and April found herself flanked by overprotective turtles, one in front of her and one behind as they ascended the ladder to street level. She rolled her eyes a little at that – they were just buying chestnuts – but it was kind of sweet, in an annoying sort of way.

Raph went up first, scanning the area before giving the all-clear and letting April up. She smirked as she pushed herself up, accepting his hand and letting his incredible strength take most of her weight as he hauled her out. "Good thing you checked," she said. "Wouldn't wanna get taken down by a chestnut vendor."

"Hey, those nut guys can be sneaky," Raph fired back with a grin. "They've gotta have some way to protect all that deliciousness."

"Is that the guy?" Donnie asked, looking across the road at the man standing by a cart, steam rising over his head from the roasting chestnuts.

"Yeah," April said, patting his shoulder. "I'll be right back."

Securing her scarf more firmly around her neck, April sprinted across the road to the chestnut cart, relishing the warmth of the sweetly-scented steam as she exchanged holiday greetings with the chestnut seller. After a moment of frenzied negotiation, she forked over all of the cash she had on her in exchange for as many chestnuts as she could carry.

The heat of the chestnuts burned through her mittens, but she took solace in the fact that she didn't have far to go before strong, scaled hands with thicker calluses than she had could relieve her of her burden. She was almost to the mouth of the alley, intently focused on her goal, when a dark shape loomed in front of her and she was overwhelmed by the scent of sweat, booze, and tobacco. Wrinkling her nose in disgust, she found herself looking up into the sneering face of an unfamiliar man sporting a host of purple dragon tattoos.

"Looks like you got a lot of cash to throw around, girlie," he said as he leered at her.

"Back off, creep," April snapped, debating whether to drop the chestnuts and go for her tessen. It would be a shame – she didn't want the nuts to go to waste for a sleazebag like this. "I spent all my money on chestnuts."

His expression grew more predatory as he invaded her personal space even further. "There's other ways I can take a paym—oof!"

A green fist in his face cut off anything else he was going to say, and he staggered back, blinking in terrified astonishment at the shadow that loomed behind April.

"That is no way to talk to a lady!" Donnie's voice was sharp with rage.

A second fist caught the gang member on the other cheek, spinning him around with the force of the blow, and he went down in a boneless heap. Emerging from the shadows opposite, Raph glared down at the unconscious dragon. "Yeah! Nobody gets to be a jerk to April but me!"

"Aww, Raph, that was almost sweet," April said.

Donnie laid a hand on her shoulder as he looked down at her in concern. "Are you okay?"

"Of course. He didn't even touch me. I'm glad I didn't have to drop these, though." She passed half the chestnuts off to Donnie. "Here. Careful, they're—"

The rest of her words dissolved into a cry of alarm as something wound around her from behind and yanked her off her feet. She could hear Donnie screaming her name from below her, but all her attention was focused on the gaping maw looming in front of her. The… the  _thing_  clung to the side of the building about halfway up, and the strange, whiplike appendage that had pinned her arms to her sides was coming from its mouth. A mouth that was wide open beneath the eerily glowing head, sharp incisors dripping with saliva as a second head shot out from within the mouth to snap at the chestnuts she still held.

 _Wait…. Is this thing a_ squirrel?

She shrieked again, ducking her head as the inner jaws snapped at her, just before a green streak plunged from above. She had just enough time to see the gleam of light off a sai before it sliced through the appendage holding her. It went abruptly slack, and April slipped from its grasp, plunging to the ground below. Green hands caught her before she struck the pavement, and she was on her feet in another instant, chestnuts raining around her as Donnie shoved her behind him.

April flicked open her tessen as Raph landed next to them. "Anyone want to tell me what that thing is?"

"Squirrelanoid," Raph said. "Long story."

"Heads up, there's more than one!" Donnie called, and April spun to catch sight of the tail of another disappearing around the mouth of the alley in which they stood. Suddenly, her eyes widened as she realized exactly what they were doing.

"They're taking the chestnuts! We've gotta stop them!" She made it three steps toward the retreating squirrelanoid before impossibly strong hands locked around both of her wrists. Glaring, she tugged sharply against their restraining hands as both brothers held her back.

"Are you  _crazy?_ " they chorused in unison.

"I spent the last of my money on those chestnuts!" she snapped back. "If we don't get them back, Mikey will have nothing to use for the stuffing, and he'll think he's ruined my Christmas, and then my Christmas really  _will_ be ruined!" She shook them off and planted her hands on her hips. "Do either of you want that?"

They looked at each other helplessly, and Raph heaved a long-suffering sigh.

"No," he said. "But April, trust me, you do  _not_  want to mess with these things. They—"

She would never hear what Raph had to say about them though, for as he spoke, the darkness behind him roiled with a sickly green glow, and a half-dozen more of the creatures burst from the shadows, throwing both of the brothers into a wall as they surged toward April. Her scream was swallowed by a tide of glowing, screeching mutants as clawed hands enveloped her, and everything went dark.

* * *

She awoke slowly, her head pounding, and she immediately had to fight to keep from heaving at the stench that assailed her. Cracking her eyes slowly open, keeping very, very still, she found herself lying on a pile of leaf litter and branches, the walls arcing away into a sphere over her head. Far overhead, there was an opening in the sphere, which let in a thin, sickly green glow. Struggling to keep her breathing calm, she pushed herself gingerly to her knees.

As she moved, her hand came down on something that shifted beneath her, and she caught her breath as a soft pattering echoed through the nest. Looking down, she discovered that all of the stolen chestnuts had been piled at her feet, and something about the sight of all the nuts filled her with a flash of seething rage. Yanking her scarf from around her neck, she used it to belt her coat firmly at her waist, gathered up the chestnuts, and stuffed them into her coat, zipping it up tightly. Once she had accomplished that, she set about trying to find a way out of her prison.

Her foot hit something hard, and she glanced down, recoiling in horror at the skull grinning back up at her. "Okay," she whispered. "Not cool. I am  _not_  food to be stored up for winter."

Settling the chestnuts more securely, she crept over to a wall and dug her fingers in between the mud-coated sticks and bones that made up the wall. Drawing a deep breath, she began to pull herself up the side, silently thanking Splinter for the hours of tree climbing he'd assigned her as strength training. Carefully, step by step, she moved up the side of the nest, trying very hard not to think about what the squirrelanoids had used to make it.

She'd made it about halfway up by the time they noticed her. A screech alerted her to her discovery, and she looked up to find one of the creatures clawing its way down the wall toward her. The creature screamed again as it lunged, and that hideous prehensile tongue-thing snaked its way toward her.

"Oh, no." Her eyes narrowing, she freed one hand to flick open her tessen. "Not this time." With a deft hitch of her wrist, she sent the tessen sailing toward the thing. The iron fan whirled through the air, slicing through both the tongue-thing and the second head jutting from the monster's mouth before it thunked solidly back into April's hand. With a bellow of rage, the squirrelanoid retreated, a spray of steaming green liquid dripping from the severed stump. She reared back out of the way of the spray, but as the green fluid fell, her handhold came loose, and she found herself tumbling with it. She braced herself for the impact, but as she struck the nest, the fluid that had gotten there first had eaten a hole clear through the bottom, and she found herself falling straight through it.

Screaming, she scrabbled at the edges of the hole, but the sticks and bones that made up the floor crumbled beneath her questing fingers and she fell into darkness. Time narrowed to a razor's edge as she dropped, helpless, into utter blackness, but there was nothing she could do. She couldn't see. She couldn't stop herself. This was it.

Without warning, something slammed into her from the side, driving the air from her lungs as she went from tumbling straight down to flying sideways. The motion stopped just as abruptly, her fingers dragged at the iron bar locked around her waist as she struggled to breathe.

It took her a moment to recover her wits enough to realize that the thing that held her pinned fast was a scale-covered arm.

"I got her!" Raph's voice called over her shoulder, answered by a resonant whoop from Donnie across the vast expanse of darkness. A small sound, half-sob, broke from her, and she turned to throw her arms around Raph's neck.

"Hey, easy there," he said softly, as his other arm came around her, stroking lightly down her back. "We gotcha." Keeping one arm tightly around her waist, he reached up for the rope hanging above his head. "Now let's get outta here, huh?"

"Uh, Raph?" April's eyes widened. "Why can I see you now?"

Raph blinked at her in the dim green light and glanced up. "Aw, sewer nuggets." Grabbing April off her feet, Raph kicked off the wall and swung down to where Donnie waited as the squirrelanoid horde swarmed down the wall toward her. "Go!" she cried. "Go go go go go!"

Letting out a squawk of alarm, Donnie started running the second April and Raph hit the ground, his naginata braced in front of him. But getting out wasn't going to be that easy. They appeared to be in some kind of abandoned warehouse, if the brackish water they were running through was any indication, and the nest she had fallen from wasn't the only one the squirrelanoids had constructed in the beams that supported the roof high overhead. In front of them, the doorway was illuminated by the glow from the heads of the dozen monsters lurking in wait.

Donnie skidded to a halt, his arm outstretched to stop April as she staggered to a halt behind him. As she felt Raph brace himself behind her, she looked at the ring of monsters slowly wading through the icy water toward them. "This isn't good, is it?"

"This?" She heard the metallic ring as Raph drew his sai. "This is just working up an appetite for dinner."

But there was a quaver in his voice that wasn't normally there, and it didn't exactly fill her with confidence and reassurance. April bit her lip, glancing up at the nests again, trying to figure out something, anything, that would get them out of this. Which was when her gaze fell upon a red-and-white sign far overhead, and she jabbed Donnie in the ribs, wincing as his shell bruised her elbow. She pointed upward when he glanced at her, and as he followed her pointing finger, his brows drew down with resolution.

That was one of the things she loved best about Donnie. So often, she didn't have to explain what she was thinking. He just  _knew_.

"Raph!" Donnie was already moving, calling over his shoulder as he began scaling the beams. "Get April to the top of those crates!  _Now_!"

Often, Raph would protest vociferously if Donnie tried to tell him what to do. But there was no questioning the resolution in his voice. April found herself yanked off her feet again as Raph bolted for the mountain of wooden shipping crates sitting nearby. The squirrelanoids reacted to their sudden movement, abandoning their slow creep to sprint toward them, but Donnie was faster. Even as Raph leaped for the crates, Donnie was drawing a tanto from his wrist wraps and flinging it with laser precision toward the thick cables beneath the warning signs up above. He fell along with the cable, and struck the crate next to April and Raph only seconds before the arcing cable hit the water. As Donnie teetered on the edge, his arms windmilling as he fought to keep his balance, Raph's hand shot out to grab the edge of his shell and yank him close. And then the two of them closed ranks around her, grabbing onto each other with April at the centre of the protective wall of shell as the world exploded around them.

* * *

When they staggered back into the lair, giddy and giggling, Mikey and Leo, could do nothing more than stare as they pushed their way through the turnstiles.

"April, girl," Mikey said at last, wiping his hands on the 'Kiss the Cook' apron he wore. "Love the new look, but I'm not really sure it says 'Christmas'."

Reaching a hand up, April brushed it against her hair, her fingers still dancing with tiny static shocks as they ran through the massive ball of frizz. With a grin, she shrugged. "Maybe you're right, Mikey. Why don't I go do something about it while you do something with these?" With that, she unzipped her coat, sending the chestnuts within tumbling to the floor.

As Mikey fell upon them with a crow of delight, Leo raised a brow at the three of them. "Anything I should know?" he asked, his voice ringing with suspicion.

"Nope," Raph said.

"Just dealing with a little pest control problem on the way home from shopping," Donnie added.

Snickering at both of them, April stepped forward and took hold of Leo's hand. "Come on. You can help me fix this mess." And she led a mollified Leo away, trailing the scent of ever-so-slightly-singed hair in her wake.

* * *

Dinner was everything she had hoped it would be, and even more. Leo had managed to get her looking presentable again, and if Splinter had wondered at the state of his students, he merely raised a brow and complimented April on her hair. They sat down to a veritable feast, chestnut stuffing and all, and it was glorious enough that April had followed the instructions on Mikey's apron and given him a heartfelt kiss on the cheek, earning them much hooting and hollering from the others.

She sat on her bed, curled up beneath the blankets in her favourite fleecy pyjamas, the ones with the scarf-wearing polar bears on the pants and sparkly snowflakes on the top. Her room was dark, her face lit by the glow of her Tphone as she scanned through the pictures she'd taken that night. One of herself and Mikey icing the Christmas cookies. Splinter, sitting distinguished at the head of the table with the paper crown from his Christmas cracker set over one ear at a jaunty angle. Raph and Leo fighting over the turkey drumstick. Mikey proudly beaming as he bore the Christmas pudding out from the kitchen. Mikey proudly setting the pudding on fire. Mikey watching in astonishment as the flames shooting up from the pudding reached the ceiling of the lair. Leo leaping in to douse the fire with the hard sauce. Raph wielding his coveted drumstick as a weapon as he chased a screaming Mikey around the room. Leo yelling at both of them to stop ruining Christmas. Herself, falling over herself laughing. Donnie, trying to figure out how to cryogenically freeze the leftovers.

Paging through another screen, she slowed, a little smile stealing across her face at the series of events captured in the next few photos. Dessert (slightly singed pudding and cookies) had ended around midnight, at which point Donnie had tapped her on the shoulder.

"Merry Christmas, April," he said, his smile warm enough to banish even the chill of the lair.

Mikey scooted in on her other side, taking her arm in his. "Check it out," he said, grinning ear-to-ear. "Santa's been here!"

April whipped her head around, and sure enough, there was another large box beneath the tree in addition to the ones she had placed there. She hadn't taken her eyes off the guys for more than a second - she  _knew_  she hadn't - but there it was.

_Ninjas. Oy._

"Come, April." Splinter shooed his sons away from her and rested a hand on her shoulder. "Let us open the gifts before we return you home for the night."

At Splinter's gentle urging, she took a seat on the cushion that Donnie placed beneath the tree, and insisted that the others open theirs first. Her budget had been practically nonexistent this year, but she was incredibly proud of what she had done with so little.

She had more photos of those. Splinter admiring the calligraphy set she had found in a small shop in Chinatown to replace the old, cracked one he had scavenged years ago. Mikey crowing over an instructional book she had found on how to write and draw comics, and the pen set she had bought to go with it. Mikey using the pens to draw on Leo after he fainted following the reveal of her present - an autographed Space Heroes cast photo, and a one-hour internet chat session with Captain Ryan. Raph flipping through the  _Kicks and Punches_ magazine she had bought for him, finding the note hidden in its pages, and nonchalantly wandering off to locate the real present she'd bought him - a sketchbook and a set of artist's pencils, which she'd hidden behind the Atomic Robo-X game. And Donnie…. well, that one she'd been particularly proud of.

Donnie had gotten the extra-credit science project that had singlehandedly saved her from failing last year. In every spare moment she had when she wasn't at school or training with the guys, she'd been at the university learning how to sequence DNA. Her final project had been titled "Family Portrait," and featured seven lines of DNA electrophoresis, enlarged and printed in colours across across a clear acrylic background. The first of the lines was yellow, followed by dark orange, which aligned with the bands on the yellow line roughly half the time.

The next five were more interesting, to her at least. Blue, red, purple, and light orange, followed by brown. Those next four, while sharing no common bands with yellow or dark orange, shared several with each other, and with the brown line.

Donnie had said nothing as he looked at it. Just run his fingers over the title, printed neatly at the bottom, and looked at her with shining eyes. Then he had set the artwork carefully aside, crossed the room, and hugged her so hard that her feet left the ground.

Once again, with Donnie, she didn't have to explain. He just  _knew._

But it was the last series of photos, taken by Mikey as he commandeered her Tphone, that brought the tears to her eyes. Leo had passed her the big box, which was lovingly wrapped with scraps of nice paper and festooned with brightly coloured ribbons.

"It's from all of us," Leo explained. "We all pitched in."

Curiosity driving her, she started undoing the dozens of ribbons that bound the package. She got stuck at one point, but the advantage of being in a family of ninjas was that when you started cursing at a stubborn knot, four knives materialized out of nowhere to help you cut through it. Finally, she had worked her way through the wrapping to the gift inside, and stared at what lay within the box.

One of the first notions that Splinter had done away with when he had begun her training was that, Foot ninja aside, ninja didn't usually wear a  _shinobi shōzoku_ \- but that hadn't stopped her from longing for one anyway.

What lay inside was her own  _shinobi_   _shōzoku,_ reinforced with dark armour plates in many of the same places Karai had hers. But where Karai's was all sharp steel lines and functionality, April's had hints of yellow here and there, and almost imperceptible embroidery in the shape of the Hamato sigil. And as she drew out the sash that would fit around her waist, the buckle that fastened it bore not the Hamato sign, but the outline of a hand done in red.

_He had slipped up and called her 'Princess' one too many times, but as she bopped him on the head with the feather duster she was using to help clean the dojo, she had just laughed at the look in his stricken brown eyes. "You're not far off, you know. Dad loved to tell me about how the O'Neils are descended from the High Kings of Ulster. I used to think that the whole 'Foot' symbol thing was weird, until I remembered that the O'Neils tend to all have a red hand in their coat of arms somewhere." She bopped him again. "But that was a long time ago, Donnie, so knock it off, okay?"_

He'd remembered. They all had. There were touches of all of them in the outfit. From the careful stitching of the flowers to the cunning spaces to hide weaponry in the armour plates, all of it spoke of stories she'd told in unguarded moments to all of the brothers and to her  _sensei._  She didn't miss the symbolism of the flowers and the hand together, either. Two families, united. She was part of the Hamato clan while still retaining her ties to the father who had raised her...

They had made her try it on, and the successive photos were of Mikey attempting to play fashion photographer, positioning her into an increasingly bizarre series of poses until Leo had stepped in and made him stop. She hadn't minded, though; it had channeled the overwhelming tidal wave of emotion she was feeling into laughter instead of tears.

Sighing, she turned off the Tphone and set it on the table next to the bed, burrowing her way beneath the covers. It had been an incredible night. An incredible Christmas, though it was still only in the wee hours of Christmas morning. Really, there was only one thing that could have made it better...

She was interrupted in her thoughts by a soft, metallic sound from outside. Instantly awake again, April flung off the covers and raced to the window, yanking it open, but the fire escape was empty.

Almost.

Before she had gone to bed, she had quietly liberated a pound of hamburger and a bunch of bananas from her aunt's kitchen and left them outside, wrapped up in a little gold ribbon. Both were gone now, and she could almost have attributed their absence to the stray cats that roamed the city, were it not for the steaming pile left in its place. In addition to the fast-food wrappers, moths, and a small dead mouse that lay within the pile of goo, there was a gleaming knife clearly liberated from a hapless foot soldier still within its sheath, a long, thin strand of crystals between two leather cords that was designed to wrap several times around the wrist as a bracelet, and a large red bow from one of the festive arrangements that sat beneath the streetlamps on her street, half its flocking now dissolved away.

Nudging the garbage and the dead animals carefully over the side of the fire escape with a stick, she carefully picked the tanto and the bracelet out of the goo. Looking up into the dark, she thought that maybe, just maybe, she could hear the whisper of large, leathery wings.

"Merry Christmas, Daddy," she whispered.

And in that moment, despite everything, it truly was.


	6. Home for the Holidays

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the Hamato family turns the tide, and introduces April to some new holiday traditions as a new year begins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was originally a gift for the fabulous Jinja-neko, and came as an extension of the askthehamato post about how they celebrate the holidays. It also helps if you read the Christmas story, but it's not essential.
> 
> Happy newyear, everyone.

 

**Home for the Holidays**

* * *

 

April leaned her head against the window as the car moved through the streets. What should have been quiet sidewalks at this time of night – quiet for New York, anyway – were brimming with people. Couples, groups of friends, parents and children, all laughing, their faces upturned to the falling snow. The white flakes danced in the light of the passing streetlamps, and April tried to put on a happy face as she watched.

She hadn't wanted to go away. She'd wanted to stay in New York. But with Grandma getting older and travel getting harder, it just made more sense for everyone to go out to Cousin Ben's in Massachusetts for Christmas; he had the biggest house and the most space for all the young cousins to run around in. And it had meant being out of the city for the holiday. Her aunt hadn't said anything about it, but April was pretty sure that she had ulterior motives for getting April away from the city for the holidays, wanting to spare her from the memories conjured up by the lights and the laughter.

Losing the house had been hard. The landlord had given them some leeway when her father had been abducted – the man wasn't a total Scrooge – but as the months dragged on while Kirby was a prisoner of the Kraang, there'd been no way to pay the rent. Eventually, the landlord simply couldn't give April any more time, and her aunt didn't make enough to cover the rent on two properties.

She hadn't told the guys. Hadn't been able to figure out  _how_  to tell them. She'd just quietly packed up all their things one weekend and let her aunt help her move them all into storage. Coming back to find out they were homeless had been a huge shock for Kirby after his rescue, but her aunt's house was big enough, and they were together, and it was only going to be a matter of time before he found a new job and got back on his feet and they could find a place of their own again.

And then came the mutagen.

When she'd run out on the turtles that night, she hadn't gone back to her aunt's house straight away. She had spent a long time wandering the streets, weeping and bereft, trying to figure out what she was going to  _say_. When her father had been abducted, that at least had been something that  _happened_  to people – though, granted, they weren't usually abducted by  _aliens_ , unless late night TV was to be believed – but even when it had been something within the realm of possibility, nobody had believed her story. And now…

In the end, she had gone home, and smiled at her aunt, and told her that Kirby was going to pick up some takeout and that they should set the table.

And she had sat at the table she knew her father would never come home to, watching her aunt's expression shift from impatience, to irritation, to fear when her father failed to answer his phone. April let her aunt deal with the police report this time, merely filling in the blanks when prompted. Yes, her dad had gone up to the roof with her to help her with her homework. Yes, he'd gone to pick up dinner when they'd finished. No, she hadn't seen him since.

She'd kept the claw marks on her shoulders carefully covered. They'd raise too many questions she didn't want to answer.

And so it all started again. The quiet conferences with teachers who pulled her aside in class and told her that they'd make accommodations… but only for so long. The looks from her classmates, who despite her efforts to keep it quiet, somehow knew anyway that April O'Neil's dad was missing  _again._ The fights with her aunt, who found herself once again thrust into the role she'd never signed on for, as the primary caretaker of a smart, opinionated, wounded teenage girl.

Was it any wonder that by the time she had finally mended fences with the turtles, she had been half-mad with the need to talk to someone,  _anyone_ , who knew exactly what she was feeling? Or why the first thing she'd done when she'd gone home the night after her return to the lair was lock herself in her room and cry into her pillow for hours from the sheer overwhelming surge of emotions.

It had been Mikey who'd finally gotten the truth out of her. She wasn't even entirely sure how he'd managed it. One minute, they were talking about her collection of action figures, and she'd let the fact that they were all in storage now just sort of…slip. He hadn't missed it though. Maybe it was the words themselves, or maybe it was the small hitch in her voice, but something alerted him and she found herself the focus of his intent stare. Mikey when he was focused on himself could be scary, and a person could find herself completely swept aside in the wake of his self-indulgence. Mikey when he was focused on  _you_ was downright terrifying, and sometimes the depths of the compassion that lurked beneath his scatterbrained naiveté threatened to overwhelm her. But he'd listened as she'd broken down, moving at one point to rub her shoulders, occasionally murmuring things like "cleansing breaths, April." By the end of it, she had crawled into his lap, crying into his shoulder as he held her tightly, but he'd said no more about it. She had thought that would be the end of it. But she had underestimated the depths of both his understanding and his determination.

In the end, Michelangelo recruited his father. It had been Splinter who had suggested that April bring her Christmas things to the lair and put up a tree. She'd put one up to indulge Mikey the year before, but it had been a simple little thing with a few drugstore ornaments – she'd still been holding on to hope that she'd need her own decorations for herself and her father, and she'd set their own tree up at the empty apartment, back before she'd been evicted. Blinking at Splinter in astonishment, she'd stammered something along the lines of "but I didn't think you guys really celebrated Christmas."

To which he had just smiled and rested a hand against her shoulder. "No. But you do."

They'd held their festivities on Christmas Eve - big turkey dinner and everything. And first thing Christmas morning, April had returned to her aunt's to get carted off to the big house in the country, where she'd endured even more staring, and conversations halting abruptly when she walked into a room, and people pretending that everything was normal when in the end, all she'd wanted to do was scream and break something.

She hadn't thought she could miss the city so much, but the relief she felt as they wove their way through the familiar streets felt like a weight lifting from her chest, and she could finally breathe again. The second they arrived home, April wasted little time in running her suitcase up to her room and throwing the few necessities she needed to an overnight bag.

Her aunt was standing in the hallway when April emerged, and April had a momentary pang of guilt over the fact that she was essentially abandoning her on New Year's Eve. But her aunt had seen the struggle April had gone through out in the country, and the look she turned on April was one of understanding as she stepped forward and hugged her niece, and April was left with a fleeting, half-formed thought, wondering just  _which_  side of the family her particular gift had come from.

"Have a good time," her aunt said, and her tone was half wish, and half command.

April smiled and nodded, settling the strap of her bag more firmly over her shoulder. "I will." There was a slight pause before she added, "thank you," and there were layers of emotion in those two words that her aunt needed no help in decoding. She picked up a bottle sporting a large red bow from the side table, offering it to April with a smile. "This is for you and your friends."

April glanced at the label and grinned. "Non-alcoholic champagne. We'll be living the high life tonight."

"Don't be sassy," her aunt retorted, giving April's rear a gentle swat as she headed for the door. "See you soon?"

With another smile, April nodded, and let the door close behind her. The second she was out of sight, she was running toward the lair.

* * *

As she pushed through the turnstiles, her arms laden down with bags thanks to a quick stopover at Murakami's, she took a moment to appreciate the silent lair. The Christmas tree still stood in the corner, its coloured lights dancing off the ornaments that rotated gently in the omnipresent drafts that always blew through the sewers. As she stepped in, carefully wiping her boots on the "Happy Ho-Ho-Holidays!" mat she had chosen for the apartment when she was nine, she spied a few of her favourites on the tree: the little brass unicorn with her name on it that her mom had bought for April's first Christmas; the little head made out of a cotton-stuffed nylon with orange yarn hair and button eyes that she had made during a "Christmas in Victorian Times" museum visit in the second grade; the sparkly  _Dauntless_  ornament she had given her father two years ago.

Strings of lights dripped from the pipes overhead, highlighting the countless other decorations and ornaments that she and Kirby had accumulated over the years, which now hung from every available surface. As well as the Christmas decorations that had been up before she'd left for the country, the guys' _kadomatsu_  now stood on either side of the turnstiles. In addition to the bamboo, pine, and straw that she'd learned was traditional, the brothers had also added their own embellishments to the new year's decorations – the one to the right of the door had action figures lurking around the base of it and paper cranes hanging from the pine boughs, and the one on the left was adorned with shuriken and a garland made of computer resistors wired together into a chain.

"Sweet, April's here!" crowed a voice over her shoulder, and April jumped with a small shriek. You'd think, after all this time, she'd be used to the ninja-ing.

Mikey reached out to steady her and plucked the bags from her hands, passing them off to the brothers who had appeared behind him. "Come on, they can get this stuff ready. You and I are going to get  _you_  ready! _"_

"Um… help?" April glanced over at Raph as Mikey grabbed her hands and started dragging her toward the bedrooms.

"Hey, last year we did the firework thing. Which was fun," Raph said, grinning.

"But this year, we're doing it  _our_  way," Leo finished, resting his elbow against Raph's shoulder.

"Hey, Murakami-san put  _kagami mochi_  in here!" Donnie cried happily, peering into one of the bags.

April blinked at them, completely lost and still overwhelmed by Hurricane Mikey. "What?"

"Chill, April. Trust us. You're in good hands." Mikey turned his thousand-watt grin on her, and April was pulled helplessly in his wake.

She found herself staring around the room in disbelief as Mikey's door closed behind her. "Wow. I don't think I've ever seen your room this clean before."

He shrugged as he crossed the room to his bed, the sheets in pristine order. "You hafta clean on  _Ōmisoka._ It's, like, the law or something." Picking up a box from the bed, he held it out to her eagerly. "This is for you. Sensei says it's to make up for all the years when you were a kid that you didn't get  _otoshidama_  for _shogatsu._ "

"What for the what now?" April took the box, eyeing it curiously.

"Presents for New Year." Mikey poked her impatiently in the ribs, making her squeak. "Apriiiiil. Open iiiiiit."

"All right, all right," she said, swatting at his hand. "Yeesh. Be patient." She set the box down on the nearest solid surface, which happened to be a large wooden crate, and pulled it open.

It took her a moment of blinking at the bright fabric before she figured out what lay inside. Her hands shaking a little, she pulled out her present and held it up to herself. It was some kind of kimono, done in yellow fabric covered in sprays of little white flowers – flowers she recognized, for she saw their image around the lair every day. The white of each flower was accented with touches of colour – pinks, purples, blues, reds, and greens. "Mikey…" she breathed. She had thought her Christmas present from Splinter and the boys was amazing, but this… this… "I don't—" her voice cracked a little, and she swallowed hard.

Coming up behind her, Mikey placed a hand on her shoulder and went up on his toes to kiss her cheek. "You had a rough year. We wanted you to have something nice for the new one."

She turned to him, her eyes shining a little. "But… I don't know how…" she gestured at the box.

"Pssh. That's why I'm here." He tugged the kimono out of her hands and pulled another robe out of the box, this one in a lighter white fabric. "Put this on and I'll help you out with the rest." With a leap, he threw himself onto his bed, and on the first bounce, she watched in astonishment as his head and limbs retracted into his shell. "I'm not looking!" came his muffled voice. "Go ahead!"

Bemused, April quickly divested herself of her coat and most of her outerwear, though she kept on the tights that she had put on beneath her jeans to ward off the chill of the lair in December. Slipping into the white garment, she pulled it closed. "Okay."

Mikey peered out of his shell and immediately started giggling. "No, no, no. Guuurl, you  _never_  wear it like that unless you're dead." He mimed swapping the closure. "Other way."

She could feel her face heating as she switched the overlapping sides, and Mikey nodded in approval. The next few moments were a confusion of fabric as Mikey tucked, tied, and adjusted things, but as he held up a cracked mirror for her perusal, she couldn't help but let out a little squeak of delight. "It's so pretty!"

Mikey snorted. "Like we'd put you in anything that wasn't."

There was a soft tapping at the door before she could snap out a comeback, and Leo entered at Mikey's shouted invitation, smiling as he saw her. "You look nice."

But April was too busy staring to respond. Leo was wearing a… what was it called? Hakama? Something like that... in shades of blue and grey, and for the first time since she'd known them, he wasn't wearing his mask in front of her. "Wow, Leo. You look… wow."

His grin widened. "Thanks April." Raising a brow at her, he folded his arms. "But let's do something about that hair, huh?"

"Aww!" Mikey had started pulling a slightly-wrinkled hakama of his own out of the wooden crate when Leo entered, but he glanced up in dismay at Leo's words. "I wanna do it!"

"Last time you did it, she ended up with a teased side-ponytail."

"That was pretty!"

"It's _Ōmisoka_  Mikey, not an 80s dance movie." He glanced at April. "Unless that's what April wants."

 _Oh, you jerk_. She stuck her tongue out at him in thanks for putting her on the spot before turning to face Mikey. "I've already had a Mikey-style for one special occasion," she said consolingly. "Let's let Leo try something new this time, okay?"

Mikey's face fell. "Okay," he said glumly, but then brightened again almost immediately. "But I get to do the  _kanzashi_!"

"Uhhh…" April glanced at Leo, who gave an imperceptible nod. "…sure!"

As Mikey let out a whoop and bounded off somewhere, April let out a sigh of relief. She retrieved her brush from her overnight bag and passed it over to Leo before freeing her hair from its ponytail and pulling her hairband loose. Perching on the edge of the bed, she closed her eyes as Leo began to pull the brush through her hair. She never really understood his fascination with her hair, but there were times she had to admit, having someone else brush it felt really comforting. It reminded her a bit of when her dad had done it when she was little – well, after she'd outgrown the screaming, fighting phase.

"Leo?" she ventured, running a hand along the silk edge of one of her sleeves. "It's not that I'm not grateful or anything, but—"

"April, if anyone deserves something really nice this year, it's you." He tapped her gently on the head with the brush. "Now quit worrying and let yourself enjoy it."

"But—"

"If you keep that up, I'll make you take back the presents you got us for Christmas."

Splinter always said that a good kunoichi knew when she was beaten. Giving a quiet huff of laughter, she closed her eyes. "Fine."

Mikey chose that moment to bound back into the room with something clutched in his hands. Beaming, he passed it off to April, who stared at it in amazement. It was a hair ornament, made to look like a spray of yellow and white flowers crafted from shimmering organza, with little crystals glittering at the centre of each one. "How…?"

"The internet is a wonderful thing," said Leo.

Mikey plucked the ornament from her hands and set it carefully in her hair. "There," he said, and stood back to look her over in satisfaction. "Yeah. That'll do." He picked up the mirror and handed it to her before starting to make himself ready.

As Mikey removed his mask and began to struggle into his hakama, eventually prompting Leo to leave April's side to go and help him in a very big-brotherly, 'no _this_  is how you're supposed to tie that!' kind of way, she couldn't take her eyes off her reflection. She was still herself, but she looked different. She looked… looked…

Her glance drifted up to where Leo was straightening something he called a haori as Mikey rolled his eyes and mimicked his brother's words in a higher pitch.

She looked like a part of this family.

As soon as Leo had deemed Mikey presentable, Michelangelo ducked out from beneath his brother's fussing hands and seized April by hers. "Come  _on_  already, let's go!"

Laughing, April let Mikey drag her out of his room and across the lair to the dojo as Leo followed at a more sedate pace. As Mikey hauled her through the door, she noted that the TV had been moved into the corner of the dojo; Raph knelt in front of it, nicely dressed in his own hakama, watching what appeared to be a team of Japanese girls singing their hearts out.

"How's the red team doing?" Mikey asked.

"They're doing  _awesome,_ " Raph said, only a little annoyed at the obviousness of the question. "They're the  _red_  team."

That was met with a quiet cheer of "white teeeeam," from Leo, and a sigh from Mikey.

"I wish we could vote," Mikey said.

"It's on time delay from Japan," came Donnie's voice as he struggled across the room beneath the burden of a large straw wreath. "It actually happened hours ag-ooof!" He'd caught sight of April about halfway across the room, and walked straight into the tree. The Christmas ornaments Mikey had hung in its branches trembled at the impact, and one of them broke free with a tingling ping, heading straight for Donnie's head as he sprawled beneath it. Before it could hit, though, Leo was there, snagging the ornament from the air and reaching up to place it back in the branches.

"Smooth, Romeo," Leo said to the brother at his feet.

Donnie scowled at him. "Shut up, Leo."

"Both of you shut up," Raph snapped. "Red team is getting to the best part!"

As Leo helped Donnie up and they placed the straw wreath over one of the weapons racks, April tugged on Mikey's sleeve. "What's the show?"

Mikey blinked at her for a second before understanding dawned on his face. "Oh, right, you wouldn't know. See, every New Year's Eve, a bunch of singers get together and compete. The red team is the girls, and the white team is the guys. Then the judges and the audience vote, and they pick a winner before midnight." He gestured at the screen. "We can't call in and vote though because it's already tomorrow in Japan."

"Sensei likes to feel like we're really there," Donnie said, coming up on April's other side. His face was a little pink, and April felt an answering blush rise to her cheeks.

"You look great," she said, gesturing at his haori.

"Youhgrrahahaha," he responded, in an odd mix of fumbled compliment and giggle.

"That means 'you too,'" Leo translated for April, and he patted Donnie's shell. "Come on. We've still got to drag the kotatsu out of storage."

"It's not going to set us on fire, is it?" Mikey asked, his eyes wide with concern.

Donatello glared at him. "No," he said, his voice ringing with indignation. "Not again, anyway. I fixed the problem."

As Leo dragged Donnie off, April turned back to the screen. "So… do you guys always watch this?"

Mikey grinned. "You know that thing with the stop-motion elves you made us watch because it's not Christmas unless you watch it?"

"Yeah?"

He waved at the TV. "This is our stop-motion elves."

"Only, you know, not lame," Raph added.

April drew out the tessen she had tucked into her obi (which was a dark rose, embroidered with tiny flowers of a slightly lighter shade) and whacked him across the shell with it before she knelt down next to him. "So who are we rooting for?"

"Red team," Mikey and Raph chorused.

"Leo and Donnie like the white team," said Raph. "But they're crazy."

April tilted her head, watching curiously as the girls were replaced by a row of five impeccably dressed and incredibly attractive young Japanese men, who began to sing in a heartbreaking perfect harmony. "I dunno, I'm starting to see the appeal of the white team."

"Traitor," Raph muttered.

"No, she just has good taste," Leo quipped as he and Donnie re-entered, carrying a table between them.

For the next few moments, all four of the boys were occupied with placing the table in front of the TV, arranging the heavy blanket that trailed off all four sides, setting cushions around it, and most curiously, finding an extension cord to plug in the wire trailing from it, though she couldn't quite make out why anyone would want to plug in a table.

As April watched with bemusement, a soft hand fell upon her shoulder, and she looked up at her sensei. He, too, had changed, his robes now a formal set that matched the ones the boys wore, and he smiled down upon her. "I am very glad you decided to join us this year, April."

"Oh, Sensei," April gestured down at her kimono, suddenly flustered. "I just… I love it, thank you  _so_  much, but you didn't have to-"

"April," he admonished gently. "Your coming here has brought light into our home, and it gives-me joy to see you attired so. We did not  _have_  to. We  _wanted_ to." He patted her shoulder before dropping his hand to his side. "Will you help me with the tea while my sons are occupied?"

Smiling, April nodded, and they left the boys to their bickering.

When she and Splinter returned with the tea, the turtles had managed to sort out the table to their satisfaction and arranged themselves around it with the heavy blanket draped over their laps. April accepted a cushion next to Donnie with some trepidation, but was delighted to discover that it was  _warm_  under the table - a welcome experience given the normal draftiness of the lair.

For the next hour or so, they watched the program with an intensity April had only ever seen when Leo was watching Space Heroes, bickering with each other and cheering over song and wardrobe choices. She couldn't understand much of the singing, but it was entertaining enough that she didn't need to, and between the warmth of the tea, the table, and her adopted brothers, she was cozier than she remembered being in a long time. Her cup was never empty, either - as soon as she even came close to finishing her tea, one of the boys was refilling it before she could reach for the pot. It would have annoyed her, but she noticed they were doing it for each other, too. Apparently, no one was allowed to fill their own cups tonight. She filed that away for future reference, and settled in to enjoy the shows - both the one on the television, and the one playing out between the brothers, who were growing increasingly competitive over the singing competition.

It was different, but in the best possible way. While the family was often together, it was rarely this...domestic. But even Splinter had seated himself at the table with the rest of them, offering the occasional cutting remark about pitchiness or awkward lyrics, and it was a side of him she was enjoying getting to know. She didn't often see him this relaxed – or the dojo this festive, for that matter.

At one point, while the white team was involved in a particularly complicated song and dance routine, she noticed an addition to the altar - some kind of ornament, made up of two white blobs on a lacquered stand, with what looked like a fan stuck into an orange on the top. She prodded Donnie with her tessen and pointed at it with a raised brow.

"Oh, that's the  _kagami mochi_  Murakami-san sent," he said, keeping his voice low so that he didn't interrupt the singing.

"What are the white things?" she asked, indicating the white blobs on the bottom.

"Mochi. Ummm...rice cake things."

"We get to eat them next Sunday," Mikey whispered, sidling in on April's other side. "That's when we'll have our first real practice of the year." He beamed at her. "We get an almost-vacation until then!"

"Shhh!" Raph hissed at them. "This is the last song."

Leo had vanished while Donnie was explaining the  _kagami mochi_  to her, but he reappeared not long afterward bearing a large tray filled with carefully-balanced plates of noodles. Donnie and Mikey leaped up to help him distribute them as the red team began their last song.

"Murakami?" April guessed.

"He did all the food for us this year," Leo replied, resuming his seat at the table. "Wait till you see what we have for the next three days."

April had caught a glimpse of the elaborate feast packed into several gorgeous lacquered boxes before Mr. Murakami had packed them up and sent her off with them, locking up the shop after her so that he could attend his own festivities with his family. If the food tasted anywhere  _near_  as good as it looked, she'd probably be rolling home by the end of the three days of celebration the boys had planned. She picked up her chopsticks and prepared to dig in.

"Man, this is  _so_ much better when it's noodles instead of worms!" Mikey crowed.

April took a second glance at her noodles in consternation, but they remained reassuringly plain noodles topped with some of Murakami's homemade tempura. As the boys and Splinter tucked in around her, she reflected on the words Splinter had spoken to her as they had gotten the tea.

 _This is a time of letting go,_  he had told her.  _The new year is for new beginnings. This evening, you can reflect upon those burdens you wish to leave behind, and set them aside as we cross from the old year into the new._

That, she thought, was an idea she could really get behind.

About fifteen minutes before midnight, the program drew to a close - red team won, and Leo and Donnie took the loss with far more grace than Raph and Mikey likely would have. The losers cleared the plates, and as midnight drew near, the time-delayed broadcast switched from the concert venue to an outdoor view of some kind of shrine. Crowds of people had gathered in the courtyard, smiling and laughing, but they fell silent as a song began to play.

Around her, the boys drew closer, Mikey singing quietly under his breath, and she could  _feel_  the change in energy in the air around her. She found her heart speeding up in anticipation, even though she really had very little idea of what was going on. As the song ended, the crowd began to chant. She recognized the Japanese numbers as the boys began to count down - she'd had to learn one through ten in order to count off her exercises - and she added her voice to theirs, tentative at first, but growing louder as they drew closer to 'one.'. And as they finished, cheering erupted from the crowd on the TV as a man within the shrine began to beat a giant drum. April found herself suddenly in Mikey's arms, and she laughed as he kissed her cheek, earning a sound of frustration from Donnie behind her that was nearly drowned out by Raph and Leo as they added their voices to the crowd.

"Make a wish, April," Mikey whispered into her ear. "First wishes of the year are important."

The low, rolling sound of a massive bell began to ring in the shrine, and as the boys fell respectfully silent, Splinter produced the bottle April's aunt had given her, gracing her with a smile. "This is a night for your traditions as well," he said. "But first, there is one more of ours that we must observe."

Mikey gave a little squeak of excitement, and April followed his attention to the doorway. Leo had vanished again while Splinter was talking, and he stood in the doorway now, carrying a little bowl filled with rice. The bowl, in the shape of a turtle, showed signs of a long life of love and care, crazed with cracks where it had been broken and mended on more than one occasion. April straightened a little, recognizing this tradition from their stories. The first offering of the year to the altar in the dojo was a special one, and the honour of making it was given each year to the member of the family who had shown the most progress throughout the previous year. Mikey had bragged about being chosen last year for more than a month. She glanced around eagerly to see which of the brothers had earned the coveted honour this time.

It wasn't until Mikey started giggling that April became fully aware of the fact that Leo had stopped in front of her, and was holding the bowl out to her with an expression of fond exasperation.

"What?  _Me?_ " she breathed, looking to Splinter, but he merely nodded with a smile. "But…. I don't know what to do…. I…."

"Just make the offering and say what's in your heart," Leo said quietly. "It's okay."

Her eyes wide, she turned back to Splinter, and her sensei's smiling face wavered for a moment as her eyes pricked with tears. Wiping them away with the back of her hand, she bowed low toward him before rising to her feet, carefully taking the bowl from Leo and approaching the shrine.

Tang Shen's face stared down at her with gentle benevolence as April stopped in front of the photograph, her hands shaking a little. Looking down at the offering in her hands, she took strength from the cheerful face of the turtle-bowl peering over the rice, and raised her gaze again to the picture.

_Say what's in your heart…_

She kept her voice low, and the others kept a respectful distance. This was a conversation for the women of the family. Taking a deep breath, she let it out slowly. "This has been the worst year of my life," she said, her vision blurring again. "But the people in it have been the best. I don't know where I'd be without them, and I don't  _want_  to know." Mikey had told her to make a wish, and it didn't take a genius to figure out what that was, but even as she remembered it, her hands tightened a little on the bowl, and the tremor faded from her voice. "Gaining four brothers is the best thing that's ever happened to me. It doesn't make up for what I lost. But they give me the strength to get through it." Slowly, she made a deep, respectful bow toward the woman and the baby in the picture, and reached up to place the bowl atop the altar. "Thank you," she whispered, "for letting me be part of your family. I promise I'll take good care of them for you."

She turned back to be greeted by the beaming faces of her brothers, and her Sensei's silent approval. Leo opened his arms, and she raced into them, laughing as he lifted her briefly off the ground before setting her back down and letting her reclaim her spot at the table.

And so they sat, drinking the sparkling grape juice April's aunt had provided as the turtles attempted to teach April a card game that seemed to involve a suspicious amount of yelling and ninjutsu, until a combination of the late hour and the warmth of the table caused her eyes to grow heavy. Unable to help herself, she slipped quietly into sleep, her head coming to rest against Donnie's shoulder.

* * *

It was the odd juxtaposition of cold and warmth that woke her, and she blinked groggily into the darkness, completely at a loss. Then, as her eyes slowly adjusted, she became aware of the skeletal forms of trees in the darkness around her, and the crunch of snow beneath several pairs of ninja feet nearby. And the giant shape silhouetted against the lightening sky above her…

Splinter. She was wrapped in a thick padded blanket, and Splinter held her in his arms.

"Ah good," he said, before she had time to be mortified. "I was wondering if you would wake in time." He set her down on the snow, and she allowed herself a momentary pang of regret. It had been a long time since she had been carried like that, but that feeling of being cherished by a father… she missed it.

Someone had jammed her boots onto her feet, and though they were on the wrong feet and looked odd peeping out beneath the hem of her kimono, they protected her from the bite of the snow. She wrapped the blanket more tightly around herself, and it was joined a few seconds later by Mikey's arms.

"First sunrise," he told her. "Also very important."

Leo pressed something into her hand, and she looked down to see a steaming cup of... something. She sipped it carefully, her eyes widening at the taste of warm, sweetened alcohol, and she glanced at Splinter with a question in her eyes.

He chuckled softly. "A very small amount is allowed on this night." He cleared his throat. "You may not want to tell your aunt."

She giggled, but the sweet, warm sake banished the last of the chill.

Slowly, Raph and Leo drifted closer, and she reached for Donnie's hand. His massive fingers closed carefully around her hand, surrounding it with strength and warmth and keeping the cold at bay. Smiling, April leaned her head against Mikey's as they turned to face the east, and as the sun broke over the horizon, painting the snow-covered trees and the waters of the pond before them with gold, she let out a long, happy sigh.

The year had been one of challenges, and sorrows, and heartbreak. But that was the old year. Her gaze drifted downward, to the sparkling bracelet wrapped several times around her wrist. It had taken a long time to get it properly clean, but the strand of crystals glittered like the snow in the light of dawn. She would leave the old year behind, and focus on the year of new beginnings. New discoveries. New ways to help her father, to stop the Kraang, to bring the shadows in her life to light. Because she was part of the greatest family in the world, and as she stood, surrounded by her four brothers, watched over by their sensei, she was certain that together, they  _would_  triumph in the end.

* * *

"[Leo in Hakama](http://jinja-neko.tumblr.com/post/72293801232/i-liiiiiiiiiive-bro-and-his-family-have-departed)" by Jinja-neko

"[Kadomatsu](http://askthehamatofamily.tumblr.com/post/68485177379/growing-up-in-a-ninja-family-was-definitely-a-lot)" by partytimeangie

"[Holiday Traditions](http://jasjuliet.tumblr.com/post/69013515409/raphael-and-splinter-drawn-for-the-ask-the-hamato)" by jasjuliet

"[Holiday Traditions](http://jinja-neko.tumblr.com/post/69565447931/for-fantasiawandering-based-on-an-answer-for-ask)" by jinja-neko

 

 


	7. It's a Date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just a quick little drabble thing that takes place immediately before Of Rats and Men.

 

**It's a Date**

* * *

 

Casey drew a deep breath, letting it out slowly. This was worse than the game against Ridgemont when they'd tied it up and he was up for the shootout in overtime. Everything was riding on this next play….

April stood near the edge of a locker bay, the bright paint on the open locker door behind her making her stand out from the crowd in the halls. He'd thought he'd never have any friends again after he'd blown it with Nick, and everybody in this lame new school had avoided him like he had the plague.

And then he'd met April. And she was smart, and funny, and he could talk to her, and she knew ninjas, and she was down with the whole vigilante thing. The _only_  thing cooler than having her as a friend would be having her as a  _girlfriend_.

If only he could stop chickening out every time he tried to ask her on a date.

He breathed deep again, running a hand through his hair.

_Play it cool Jones. No pressure. Just your entire future happiness riding on this one._

Letting out the breath, he put on his best air of unconcern and sauntered over to her.

"Hey," he said, putting out a hand to lean against the lockers next to her. Unfortunately, he'd forgotten that the row of lockers ended. His hand met empty air and he overbalanced, his head colliding with the edge of the lockers before he could stop himself.

"Casey!" April gasped, reaching out to steady him. "Geez, are you okay?"

"Um… yeah. Yeah, I'm cool." Rubbing his head, he winced at the lump his fingers encountered.

_Okay, okay, pull it together. Catch it on the rebound._

"So anyway, I was thinkin'—" His voice cracked on the last word, ending in a squeak. He cleared his throat, but the expression on her face told him it was too much to hope that she hadn't noticed.

_Eye on the goal, Jones. You're in the endzone._

"—you wanna go get some pizza after class?"

April's face brightened, but before she could answer, the locker next to her slammed shut, and Casey found himself staring down into a pair of bespectacled eyes.

"Great idea!" Irma said. "That new place that just opened up advertises gluten-free options. Do you know how surprisingly hard it is to find gluten-free options in this neighbourhood? You'd think that our local businesses would be more savvy to today's market demands; it's not exactly uncommon for people in our age demographic to experience severe digestive issues when attempting to cope with a gluten rich—" Her gaze strayed to the clock on the wall, and she gasped. "Holy cats, we're late for Trig! Come on, April!"

Without pausing to let him get a word in edgewise, Irma grabbed April's wrist and tugged her down the hall.

"W-wait…" Casey stammered.

April raised a hand and gave him a cheery wave. "See you after class, Casey!"

And then she was gone, leaving him standing alone in the middle of the empty hall. He stared agape for a moment before he turned to the faded puma mascot on the wall, its furry head gone mangy over time and one of its glass eyes turning so that the puma was cross eyed.

"… _what just happened?"  
_

But the puma had no wisdom to impart. Casey's only answer was his own voice echoing off the walls.

 


	8. Twisted Sister

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Several months ago, I did a 500-follower draw, and the winner got to request a story of their choosing. The winner was Uggables, and it took me way too long to actually wrap my brain around the requested story. But ironically, a few days before the airing of the episode that will potentially Joss it, everything clicked. Here you go, Uggables. Sorry it took so long.
> 
> Disclaimer: This goes a bit darker than my stories usually do, so if you're here for the happy fluff, you may want to skip this one and wait for the next update.

 

**Twisted Sister**

* * *

 

"Karai!"

She was dreaming of dark, and smoke, and fire, but she was moving even as the sharp bark of her name pierced the fog of dreams, rolling toward the side of the bed. Seconds later, a kunai gleamed where she had lain only a moment earlier. Blinking at it, she shifted her gaze to glare at the nightmare who lurked in her doorway.

The thing that had once been Bradford only grinned. As alarm clocks went, the kunai was unforgiving, but she  _was_  awake. "Get up. Shredder wants you."

Her hand closed around the kunai, but Bradford was already slamming the door as the blade flew back at him and sank into the wood. Rubbing the last of the crust from her eyes, firmly telling herself it was just lack of sleep and  _not_  the remains of tears that caked her lashes, she pushed herself to her feet and padded to the stand where her armour waited. That sick, churning feeling in her stomach? Just the dream. Not fear that her father wished to see her. Never that…

Cursing, Karai shoved the armour stand, sending it crashing to the ground.

Damn Leonardo. Damn him all to hell. It wasn't enough for him to betray her. To cost her the one friend she had ever had. He had to ruin this, too, seeding doubt with his lies where there had always been loyalty. Trust. Father and daughter united to avenge the memory of her mother. And now she was losing that, too, as the threads of his lies wormed their way into her mind despite her best attempts to keep them at bay.

 _"Perhaps one day she will believe the truth…_ "

Scowling, Karai raked a hand through her hair as though it would banish the words from her mind, and tugged at the fastenings on her armour. There was only one truth. Father. The Foot. Honour.  _That_  was her truth; everything else was merely lies meant to make her weak.

Stowing her weapons, she headed toward her father's receiving room. Her father. Not the rat. Not a lie. The man who had raised her. Trained her. Made her into the kunoichi she was today. No lie could change that fact. But as she made her way through the halls, her hand drifted of its own accord to her belt, and the ragged, crumpling photograph she kept there.

She paused as she passed through the doorway into the room where the Shredder usually held court, every instinct screaming. It was never the cheeriest of spaces, but now it was thick with shadow, the skylight doing little to help thanks to her current nocturnal schedule.

"Father?" she asked, and despised how the echoing space swallowed her voice and made it small.

A tiny prick at the back of her neck was all the warning she had before the darkness surged forward to claim her.

* * *

She dreamed of smoke, of the roar of the flames, and when her mind was dragged, screaming, back to waking, the crackle of flames shifted to the thunder of water. Groaning, she brought a hand up to her face and it came away damp, and what she had at first taken to be tears turned out to be the spray of a waterfall.

Her vision swam as she pushed herself upright, blinking in confusion. She lay near the waterfall on a slap of stone tangled with roots and vines, and the moon hid behind a canopy of leaves overhead.

_Where…?_

Rising on unsteady feet, Karai groped her way to the wall of rock down which the water cascaded, her fingers finding holds on the stone based more on muscle memory than on any conscious thought, as she hauled her way to the top. It took her a moment, sprawling on the stone and gasping for air, before she could gather her strength enough to push forward through the dark. The air around her was hot, humid, hard to breathe, and she shuddered away from thoughts of fire.

It was only then, as she gazed up into the darkness overhead, that she realized that she was looking up at metal and glass, and caught sight of the sign barely illuminated beyond.

"I'm at the zoo?" Fury began to curl through her belly as she rested a hand against a painted wall. "Why-?"

A low growl stilled her voice in her throat, and she turned as a deeper shadow flowed out of the darkness toward her, green eyes reflecting the dim moonlight. Slowly, silently, Karai drew her blade, and as the jaguar leaped, she met its outstretched claws with an edge of her own.

A hurried burst of savagery and screaming, and the jaguar limped off in defeat. Watching it go, she had only a second to catch her breath before her blade was moving again, glinting in the moonlight to behead the cobra that reared at her feet.

"This is crazy," she gasped, leaping to a branch overhead and pulling herself up at it. Casting about desperately, she spotted the curve of a viewing bridge not far off through the trees.

A few shuriken took care of the scorpions that crept across the branch toward her as she raced toward the bridge, her breath coming fast as her heart pounded in fear. Not far now – she swatted away the angry baboon that leaped for her, its fangs clamping down uselessly on her gauntlet. Just a few feet—

She fetched up hard against an invisible barrier and screamed in fruitless denial, hands scrabbling uselessly at the glass wall. "No!" As she skidded down the glass, losing what little purchase she had on the thin cracks between the panes, she caught sight of a familiar silhouette in the gloom beyond the glass.

"Father!"

Her gauntlets screeched against the glass as she fell, splashing into the stream below and cursing as a school of piranha instantly beelined toward her. Floundering up to the shore, she stared up at the bridge, where the Shredder now stood flanked by the massive bulk that was Tiger Claw, and the skeletal frame of one of the Kraang. "What's that thing doing here?" Her gaze swept from one to the other. "Father, I don't understand!"

But there was no answer from the silent figure on the bridge. Her answer came instead in a flash of white through the trees, and she whirled just in time to throw herself clear of the path of the charging bear.

_A polar bear? In the jungle?_

Which was when she realized the truth. This wasn't just the jungle pavilion.

This was an arena.

The bear bellowed as it charged back toward her, its breath stinking of meat and rot. It reached out, its yellowing paws raking across her armour as its claws sought for purchase before her blade stabbed deep. Karai took the opportunity as the bear recoiled to leap free, but she couldn't go far. The netting that ordinarily kept the animals in their respective enclosures glowed a sickly purple, and she had no doubts that it would end poorly if she tried to go through it. Regaining her perch atop the waterfall, her eyes narrowed as she glared down at the circling bear.

"Nothing personal," she said, and drew her dagger.

Nearly an hour later, she stood on a killing field, but nothing they had thrown at her had managed to draw blood. She stood, defiant and proud as she held her dripping blade before her. "Father! Have I proven myself yet?"

What more could he ask? He had been testing her, surely, but none of the predators had stood against her. Not the tiger, or the lion, or the python. Not the eagle or the cassowary. All of them had either fled or fallen, and she stood without a mark on her. But her temper was wearing short, and there was still not a sound from the Shredder.

"Answer me!" she bellowed.

Which was when the last predator darted from its hiding place in the rocks, its teeth sinking deep into her ankle before she could sink her blade into its skull. Karai screamed as she pried the jaws of the massive reptile off her ankle, frantically searching for a name to put to the monster before her.  _Komodo dragon? Is that what this is?_

The wound in her ankle burned so fiercely that she almost missed the prick at her neck again. Crying out, she reached up to rip the dart free…

Ice curled through her, her stomach dropping as she beheld the drop of glowing green shining on the tip of the dart.

"No…" she breathed.

Pain hit her an instant later and she fell, screaming, as the mutagen burned its way through her system. She writhed, her fingernails breaking against the rock as her body contorted, bones breaking and realigning, her spine breaking as the tail pushed free of her back, her skin splitting as scales erupted from its surface, serrated teeth erupting from her jaw. She had no breath left to scream in the end as the mutagen tore her apart and remade her like soft clay. The world began and ended with the pain; there was room for nothing else. As her twisted body grew, her armour split along its seams, the ruined buckles gouging deep furrows into her flesh. She rolled, attempting to drag herself to the stream with a vague mind to quench the fire that burned through her veins, and watched her hair falling like dark snow across the black claws that burst from her fingertips.

At last, after a small eternity, she lay panting and exhausted on the banks of the stream, her gleaming scales dusted with the waterfall's spray like a blanket of stars.

"Why?" She whispered, and her voice tore at her throat like the scrape of a knife. "I did everything you ever asked of me…."

Faintly, over the ragged breaths that tore through her new lungs, she could hear the voice of the Kraang. Pitiless. Emotionless. "The one known as Shredder was correct. The test subject that was provided yielded results that are pleasing to Kraang. The genetic material of the one known as Hamato Yoshi is stabilizing to the process of mutation."

_Hamato Yoshi…_

_"All these years, you continue to deceive yourself, and everyone around you."_

It was difficult to see through the tears of agony that blurred her vision, but as her clawed fingers scrabbled at the mud, they brushed against something and revealed a spot of colour beneath the muck. Panic seized her heart as she scraped the rest of the filth away, but though she could not get her hands to work properly, it was enough to reveal what she had feared.

A scrap of photograph, badly stained and torn, the place where the face had once been shredded beyond recovery.

Rage burned through her, coursing through her mangled, mutilated limbs, and she surged back to her feet. In two leaps, she had reached the glass wall, and though the tail was a challenge to her balance, the long claws on her toes splintered the wood beneath them, allowing her to hold on long enough to throw herself at the glass, which cracked and shattered beneath her new weight.

The prick of the tranquilizing darts barely slowed her down. It took the combined force of Tiger Claw and the Kraang to wrestle her to the walkway, and as she struggled at Shredder's feet, her vision blurring beneath the drugs, she heard one single word drift down from the man who had raised her as his own.

"Pathetic."

* * *

They tried to put her back in her room, but after she destroyed its contents, the door, and a squadron of footbots, she found herself chained to the wall of a basement cell. She knew from experience that no amount of screaming would be heard on the levels above, but that didn't stop her from screaming her throat raw. Even then, she had expected him to come. Expected to see that familiar silhouette beyond the bars. But he left her, alone and abandoned, until she had no fight left in her and she sagged to the cold concrete floor.

The Kraang had been right. Unlike most of the other mutants they had encountered, she was still completely sane. This wasn't madness.

This was fury.

She had known that they could not leave her down here forever, but when her isolation was finally broken, it was not her father that came to see her. Glaring up balefully from her hunch against the wall, she let out a snort of contempt. "Did you come to gloat?" Her voice rasped like sand over gravel, and she didn't have the strength left in her to care.

Tiger Claw looked down on her with his one remaining eye. "I have come to salvage what is left of you."

The laugh that startled out of her creaked like rusted hinges, and she turned her face to the wall. "You're too late then. There's nothing left of me." She didn't cry - she wasn't even sure she still could cry – but she would not give him that satisfaction. She had that much, at least.

"You think you are being punished?"

The links of her chains clinked softly as Karai shifted to look up at him, awash in incredulity. "I failed him, so he turned me into a monster. Seems pretty straightforward to me."

The feline growled low in his throat. "You were given the chance to fight. To test those forms that would be yours to see which was wanting. Only the deadliest, most ferocious, was to be yours. The only form worthy of you." A clawed hand gestured toward her. "You are a  _dragon_."

A dragon. She looked down at the rings of iron encircling her wrists, which had already scored deep lines into the scales there. She curled her hands, the dark claws digging in to the smaller scales on her palms and leaving pinpricks of blood in their wake. "I am a  _freak._ "

Karai had expected a response. Wanted one. Facing explosive outbursts of anger was something she knew how to handle. The fact that he just stood there, staring at her, unsettled her immensely.

"Do you think I do not understand?" he said at last. There was no pity in his voice, nor accusation. Just flat, practical curiosity. "What it is to be taken at a young age and made into an assassin? Do you think I do not know the challenge of learning to fight once more in a body that is not your own?"

Drawing a shuddering breath, she looked up at him, her movements accompanied by the whisper of chains. She'd never considered that… but that was different. He'd been taken by the Kraang, not betrayed by his own father. They were  _nothing_  alike.

"Why should you even care?"

At that, he knelt, seizing her face in one of his massive hands and forcing her to meet his gaze. She bared her teeth instinctively, her stomach roiling as her forked tongue darted out, tasting the air and telling her too many things she didn't want to know. His scent tasted of smoke. Of blood. Of mutagen. Of her father. Of the city. Too many things she didn't know how to process any more. She clamped her jaws in anger, and a strange, bitter, acrid taste flooded her mouth, drowning out the traces of scent that clung to her tongue.

"I am chunin," he said. "It is my duty to deal with those problems that should not trouble the Shredder. If you can be remade into something that is of use to the Foot, I shall present you to him. If not, you shall remain here, caged like the animal you prove yourself to be."

Part of her almost wished that he would rage as she did. It would have been better than that flat, unconcerned, almost offhanded tone. She was just a problem to be solved. Not even worth the Shredder's time. She would not cry – no, she would not do that – but despair boiled within her like black smoke and stole her breath, leaving her gasping.

At that, some kind of emotion stirred within him, and his hand eased the crushing hold on her face. It was not pity, exactly. Understanding, perhaps. "There is a thing you must always remember if you are to survive this, child."

She hissed, and there was a certain satisfaction in the act. "Which is?"

"The Shredder did not raise you to be his daughter. He raised you to be his weapon." Releasing her, he rose to his feet and spread his hands. "You are of no use to him if he cannot wield you."

His words rained down like blows upon her, and she cringed, helpless beneath the truth in them. It had not always been so, surely.  _Could_  not have been so, for she remembered a time when she was happy. True, it had never been that saccharine, candy-coated vision of family they liked to show on TV and in movies, but she had smiled. She made him laugh. He stayed up late with her in the dojo to help her perfect her forms, and he got her the armour that she had always wanted, and had carried her to the hospital when she had broken her arm as a child, and stayed with her as the doctor had set her arm and she had tried her best not to cry, and bought her red bean mochi afterward and told her he was proud.

There had been a time once when he had been more father than master. But he had changed. Ever since…

_Leonardo._

They ruined everything.  _Everything._  And now there was nothing left. Nothing, but the chance to exact revenge.

She would be a weapon, all right. A weapon that would end the world.

Karai raised her head and held out her chained wrists, proud and defiant. "All right, then. Re-forge me."

* * *

The wind both chilled and invigorated her as it tore across the rooftops. It was strange, this body; in one sense, the scales protected her from the biting wind, but this shape despised the cold in ways she never had before. She shifted, tasting the air, and frowned as the cords holding her armour to her body snagged and tugged on her scales. There had been no armour for this monstrous form, of course – she'd had to make do with cast-off pieces from various footbots. Refuse held to her body with cord and twine.

Her shikomizue, at least, was still hers, and if it sat strangely in her new hand, she was still more comfortable with it than without it. She took a step, her foot resting on the ledge that bounded the rooftop as she stared out over the city.

Nearby, Tiger Claw shifted in the darkness. "Patience, little dragon. You have much still to learn."

Karai snorted. "Worry about yourself, tabby cat. I'm just fine."

A sound, a strange mix of growl and laugh, drifted from the shadows. "Name one thing you have that I do not."

"Depth perception," she said dismissively, and stiffened. She tasted mutagen in the wind.

Ghostlike, she moved through the dark, and though she had lost some of her silence thanks to the scraping of the tail she could not fully control against the rooftops behind her, the sound was masked by the raucous laughter of the four of the rooftop below.

A snarl curled her lip away from the razor edges of her teeth. Some ninja they were. Couldn't even follow the first rule of ninjutsu. What had they done to deserve being so happy? Silently, she drew her blade as Tiger Claw landed next to her.

"Leonardo is mine," she whispered through clenched teeth.

The cat stared at her for a moment before nodding and moving to position himself on the far side of the roof. Karai's snarl deepened, but it was of little importance. He could mistrust her all he wanted; it wouldn't matter any more once Leo was dead.

She pushed herself over the edge and fell into the night, her blade poised to drive straight into his heart.

He heard her. Somehow, he  _always_  heard her, and the clash of their blades echoed across the rooftops, stopping his brothers' sport in an instant. They moved to help him – of course they did – but Tiger Claw was there first, holding them at bay while she dealt with their leader.

"Okay, I know who tall, dark, and furry must be," she heard Donatello quip, "but who's the ugly one?"

"Who cares?" Raphael retorted. "Let's trash 'em and go get pizza."

"Dibs on making the call!" cried the third – Michelangelo, she remembered – and the flippancy in his voice filled her with rage. How  _dare_  they? Was everything a joke to them? With a snarl of outrage, she redoubled her attack as Leonardo gave ground before her. Once, she could have ended this quickly, but the adjustments she was still making to her new form slowed her just enough that they were just about evenly matched.

Steel sang against steel as they moved through their deadly dance, Leonardo attempting to bait her, to close the distance between him and his brothers. But she was on to him. That was his weakness; a ninja was so much stronger when she didn't rely on anyone but herself.

"I don't know who you are," he grunted as her foot caught him in his side and he skidded backward. "But whatever the Shredder told you about us, I can pretty much guarantee it's not true."

Her eyes narrowed, and she spun, driving hard to find some chink in his defenses. Incredible. Even when he did not know it was her, the lies continued to pour like smoke from his mouth. He would pay for that. Karai was the dragon, not him. Baring her teeth, she lunged, driving her shikomizue toward his throat.

Silver flashed across her vision as he brought his swords up to block, trapping her blade between them, and suddenly it was a contest of strength as each fought to gain the upper hand. He was strong, but her new frame was all muscle and sinew over bone like iron, and his limbs shook with the exertion of holding her back.

Until she made the mistake of looking at him, and caught sight of herself reflected in his blade.

All this time, she had avoided any mirror, any surface still enough to let herself catch sight of what had been done to her. And now that she had, it was worse than she had ever imagined. She was beyond hideous. She was nightmare made flesh, a monstrous thing that had no right existing in this world. Unable to stop the cry that tore from her throat, she recoiled, yanking her blade free as she staggered back from him. But even that was not as terrible as the, soft, incredulous word that he spoke next.

"Karai?"

There was such gentleness, such sympathy, in the voice that breathed her name, and the fragile web of rage that had held her mind together snapped. She was unable to find the words to answer him as she trembled beneath the strength of her name, but that didn't stop him from pursuing her. Yet there was no steel in the hand he held out to her.

"Karai, what happened?"

"I—" her throat tightened until it stole her breath, and she shook her head. "He—I didn't— I didn't want-"

"Karai, please," he said, and there was something in his voice that raised her gaze to meet his. "Please. Let me help you."

If there had been pity in his voice, she would have killed him where he stood. But there wasn't. Only earnest understanding, and the desire to help the broken, twisted creature who stood before him…

…his sister.

She hadn't even realized she had made up her mind until her shaking fingers met his, and his strong, steady hand closed around hers and drew her close. She was aware of the flash as the purple smoke surrounded them, cloaking their movements as his arm slipped around her and bore her away. She was aware, too, of Tiger Claw's furious bellow as he threw himself after them, and the shouts of the others as they followed suit, but if there was one thing Leonardo's family had always excelled at, it was running away.

And it seemed that this was to be her legacy, now, too.

* * *

They didn't take her to their home, of course. Not even Leonardo was that stupidly naïve. Instead, they holed her up in some abandoned utility room, but there was, at least, running water and a shower, which let her wash herself properly clean of the mud from the riverbank and the blood that caked the marks around her wrists where the shackles had dug in. She caught him staring at the wounds, of course, but he said nothing.

Which was not to say he had nothing to say. As she cleaned herself, she could hear the four of them arguing in the room beyond, the others adamant in their assertions that they couldn't trust her. Which was fair enough, she supposed. She'd have thought them idiots if they'd trusted her unconditionally. But their fighting could lead to only one thing, in the end, and she wasn't sure if it was relief or dread that filled her when their quarreling at last fell silent, for she knew it could mean only one thing. Steeling herself, she tied her armour back into place and went out to face him with her head held high.

It lasted only until she saw him. There were so many names she had heard him called over the years. Splinter. Hamato Yoshi. The rat.  _Father_ , a small voice within her whispered, which she immediately silenced. Shredder had called him a freak and a monster, but there was nothing in the eyes that stared at her but shock and dismay, and the pity she had feared from the others.

"Miwa," he whispered.

"My name is—" she began, but the words stuck in her throat. Miwa was a dream, a life that had been denied to her. But Karai… Karai was gone now, too. At a loss, she turned to the youngest of them, who looked back at her in surprise.

"Uh," he stammered, rubbing at his head. "Lemme think about that. I'll get back to you."

Splinter stepped forward, though he knew better than to try to touch her. She couldn't have predicted what she would have done had he tried it. "Why has he done this?"

A bitter laugh escaped her as she wrapped her arms around herself. "Because his weapon was weak."

The turtles looked to one another in confusion, but the rat knew exactly what she meant. She watched, unsure, as he sank to one of the benches that sat in front of a few rusted lockers, resting his hands against his knees.

"I am sorry, child," he said quietly. "For so many things. There are so many paths left unwalked. So many things I would have done differently had I but known…" He sighed; her own heart ached at the sound, and she hated it for that. "If I could change the past, I would choose a different path for you. But for now, I can promise that we will do all in our power to help you."

A bitter laugh broke from her lips, and she looked down at her hand. "Can you give me back my humanity?"

Splinter turned his head to the tallest of the turtles. "Donatello?"

Donatello frowned, a finger tapping against his chin. "I'd need a lot more mutagen than I have right now, but in theory, the refinement process should work the same way. If Kar—if  _she_  can help us find some of the Kraang's stores, I should be able to whip up a batch outside of a month."

She could only follow part of what the scrawny one was babbling, but it was enough. She stared at him, her tongue darting between her teeth in surprise. "Wait… you  _can_  fix me?"

He started, as though he'd forgotten she was there – though given the way Stockman got when he'd been deep into his science stuff, that was entirely possible – but he blinked at her and nodded. "I wouldn't use the word'fix' exactly, but I could recreate the retromutagen that restored Mr. O'Neil. Really, it'd just depend on how stable your mutation is."

A soft laugh of incredulity burst from her. "The Kraang said something like that. That the Hamato genes produce more stable mutations."

Her words fell into silence, and she realized that it was the closest any of them had come to acknowledging her acceptance of the truth. That they were, like it or not, bound by blood, and all the trappings of honour that came with it.

It was Splinter who finally broke the silence, rising to his feet with a weariness he had not carried on his arrival. "It is late," he said, "and I imagine you have much to process. Tomorrow, we shall bring you some things to make you more comfortable, and see if we cannot make sense of this situation."

"Not you," she said, the words slipping free before she could stop them, and she couldn't stand how the hurt expression that crossed his features hurt her in return. One night, and she was already growing as soft and weak as the rest of them. "I just… I need time to…"

"I understand," he said, bowing his head to her. "My sons will return then. Until you are ready."

He slipped free of the little utility room without another word, and Michelangelo and Donatello were hard on his heels, their faces twin masks of concern. Raphael lingered in the doorway, glaring, as Leo pulled open one of the lockers.

"It's not much," he said. "But the towels and blankets are clean, and there's a cot tucked away in the closet. There's no pillow, but—"

"I've slept on rocks," she interrupted tersely. "I'll be fine."

He looked at her for a moment before he nodded and backed away. Of all the people here, he was probably the only one capable of understanding the words she couldn't bring herself to say.

_Thank you._

In another moment he and his brother were gone. She was alone at last, a mutant freak in the sewers where she belonged, and she was suddenly struck by a bone-deep weariness. Tugging the cot out from the closet, she dropped down on it and wrapped herself in the musty blankets from the locker. Only then did she give in and finally let herself cry.

* * *

The days to come were some of the most surreal she had ever known. When she had finally managed to drag herself out of her fog of depression, it was to find an alarming number of visitors. Most often Leonardo, bringing her blankets or books, or movies to keep her entertained, though occasionally Donatello arrived to pull some sort of genetic sample from her, or Michelangelo swanned in bearing food of questionable origin. Raphael was always there, too, a malevolent shadow for the others, watching her with his hands in easy reach of his weapons.

She had to admit, he was smarter than she'd given him credit for.

Thankfully, they kept the princess away, which was likely for the best. She spent most of her time trying to forget that the other girl existed. The girl who had the tessen which she now realized by rights should have gone to Karai, and the family that doted on her every whim. The family that seemed for all intents and purposes to be so much happier than the one she had known. Had the redhead swanned in with her adorable freckles and her perfect humanity, she didn't know what she would have done. But she was fairly certain that April's humanity wouldn't have been so perfect at the end of it.

* * *

"What about Toyotama?"

Michelangelo's question startled her out of her brooding daze, and she frowned at him as she took the tray he held out to her. "Luminous pearl? I don't think so."

"No, it's from one of the storybooks Splinter used to read to us. She was—"

"A dragon princess. I know." She poked at the unidentifiable mass on her tray. "What the heck are you poisoning me with today?"

"Pizza pudding," he answered, only half paying attention. "But seriously, it totally fits! She was a badass dragon. You're a badass dragon." He dropped down on the floor next to her cot. "And the only other thing I can come up with is Lizardbreath."

"No." She set down the tray and picked up a piece of what she assumed was pepperoni with the chopsticks, jamming it into her mouth. Only belatedly did she realize that it was to hide the smile that longed to break free. He was annoying as all get out, but he also had ways of startling her into laughter that she found profoundly unsettling.

"No to which one?" he asked plaintively as Raphael snorted from his usual skulk in the corner.

"Either. Both. Just no." Swallowing the mouthful with only a slight triggering of her gag reflex, she shook her head. Lizardbreath is out. And I'm no princess."

"You could be," he said, regarding her appraisingly. "A little nail polish on those claws, a little make-up, and don't try to tell me you're not a cosmetic type of girl, sister, I  _saw_  how much you loved the eyeliner."

"No," she insisted again, and despite her best efforts, the smile slipped free, earning one of his in return. And as much as she hated it, it was like the sun coming out, filling her with warmth until her lizard heart basked in it.

"Just wait. I'll bring you some electric lavender polish and you'll change your tune." He rose to his feet, waving at her as he swanned out of the room, Raphael pulled in his wake.

Shaking her head in bewildered shock, she absently took another bite, and immediately regretted it. His company wasn't completely unbearable, but his cooking certainly was. And for the first time, she found herself sorry to see one of them go.

* * *

But it wasn't all fun and games and toenail polish. There was fighting, too. Usually with Leo or Raph, though Donnie got his share of the edge of her forked tongue. If she was being fair, it wasn't entirely her fault; she was at war with herself as much as with any of them, and it had a habit of bleeding over when one of them was around. She had been raised to believe in duty. Honour. But duty warred within her – did she owe it to the Foot clan who raised her, or to the clan with whom she shared the genetic secrets the Kraang valued so highly?

And so while she wanted to help them track down enough of the mutagen to make her a cure, she drew the line at disclosing the locations of the Foot's secret strongholds. Something that displeased Leonardo to no end, and any time they attempted to discuss it, it inevitably ended in screaming and drawn blades.

"How can you stay loyal to them after everything they've done?" Leo demanded, his katana warding her shikomizue off as he rolled backward over her cot. "Don't you  _want_  us to make you a retromutagen?"

"Why so eager?" She leaped to the cot, driving her blade down at his head and hissing as he deflected her again. "Is my face too hideous for you?"

"Karai, _I'm_  a reptile," he snapped back, his voice thick with irritation as he held a hand up to hold Raph back, who was watching the fight with his usual unease. "I don't see anything wrong with how you look."

They were meant to placate her, she knew. But those innocent words slipped beneath her defenses, cutting deep, and her vision hazed red with rage. "Is  _that_ why it's taking so long? You  _want_  me to stay this way, don't you? A freak, just like the rest of you."

"Karai, don't be stupid!"

"I'm stupid now?" The force of her next blow drove him into the lockers, his shell denting the metal.

"That's not what I meant!" A slide of his foot, a well-timed twist, and he had her back against the lockers, his hands pinning hers in place. "If you'd just listen—"

But the fury, the hurt, the confusion wouldn't let her listen, and in desperate frustration, she lunged.

There was no conscious thought behind the movement. She hadn't even known what she was doing until she felt serrated teeth tear through flesh, tasted that burning, acrid bitterness on her tongue, and heard Leonardo screaming.

She let go and ducked just as Raphael's sai drove into the lockers where she'd been. Staggering back, she stared at the blood welling between the fingers that Leo had clamped to his arm.

"You  _bit_  him?" Raphael steadied his brother with one hand as he glared at Karai, and there was no sympathy, no kinship in the disgust with which he regarded her. "What kind of animal are you?"

She took another step back, her hand trembling as she sheathed the shikomizue. "A dragon," she whispered.

Turning, she fled into the tunnels.

* * *

She couldn't go back. Not now. Not after what she'd done. She still could scarcely believe it herself, it had all happened so fast. But there was an animal within her, one that could not be tamed, controlled, or reasoned with. And she wasn't sure it was fear for herself, or fear of what that monster would do that kept her from returning. The look of betrayal in Leonardo's eyes as he had attempted to staunch the wound she had given him. Like a rabid animal that needed to be put down.

Perhaps that was why there was so little fight in her when Tiger Claw finally tracked her down. Why the motions she went through to defend herself from him felt so mechanical as he attacked her. Why, when he finally froze her in her tracks, encasing her limbs in ice, she barely felt it. Barely felt anything but shame.

Until the turtles arrived.

She knew instantly that something was wrong. She could read it in every line of them as they fell upon Tiger Claw, with no trace of their usual ineptitutde. Every movement they made was precise. Calculated. Lethal.

And there was only three of them.

This fact, more than anything else, managed to penetrate the fog around her mind as the others drove Tiger Claw off, and when Raphael advanced on her, there was nothing in his expression but raw, unadulterated fury. It was the last thing she saw as he drove the butt of his sai toward her head.

She didn't understand. Struggling to comprehend as they dragged her, near insensate, through the sewers, she rolled it over in her mind again and again. She'd beaten them before, and they'd never shown this much anger. This much rage. Even Michelangelo's usual sunshine was gone, hidden by a brooding darkness in his face that made his focus sharp and his actions precise as they heaved her onto a cold steel table and strapped her down.

That was when she heard the screaming.

 _Leo_?

She turned her head, blinking her blurred vision clear, and found herself staring in horror.

His arm was gone.

Soiled bandages wrapped the stump of his arm just below the shoulder, but even then, she could see that it had not been enough. Dark lines radiated out from beneath the bandages, spreading up his neck and across his chest as he writhed, crying out in pain. Something was eating him from the inside out.

"I need her mouth open."

Donatello's voice broke through her confusion, and she turned her head in time to see Raphael and Michelangelo bearing down on her. She fought, thrashing, as strong hands caught at her face and forced her jaws apart, and Donatello advanced, brandishing a pair of pliers in his hand.

A moment of blinding pain later, and she stared up at the tooth he had yanked from her mouth. Something dark and swollen clung to the root of it, and as she looked at it in dawning horror, bile rose in her throat as she realized the source of the bitterness that still clung to her tongue.

A venom sac. Her venom.  _She_  had done this.

Even as the terrible truth flooded through her, Donatello was racing across the room to his workbench, lighting flames beneath a bewildering array of scientific equipment and placing her tooth at the centre of it. He plunged a syringe into the venom sac and pulled back on the plunger, filling the vial with a clear, milky fluid.

"I've got it," he said. "I don't have much time, but I think I can synthesize—"

His voice broke off as his last words fell into a deafening silence. All eyes turned toward the other table where Leonardo lay still, his glassy eyes unfocused and staring at nothing at all.

"No…" A voice, rough and broken, drifted from the doorway as Splinter stared at the body of his eldest son, anguish etched across every feature on his face. He moved, his steps unsteady, as he passed Michelangelo, who had sunk to the floor and buried his head against his knees. Kept moving, shaking his head in denial, and Karai's head moved in concert with his.

She hadn't meant… she had never meant…. He had saved her. More than once. He had believed in her when no one else had. He had been the only friend she had ever had, and now…

Splinter's head turned slowly, the terrible emptiness in his gaze falling on her. "Everything you touch turns to ash."

With a roar, the flames on the Bunsen burners flared high, shattering the vials that bubbled above them and igniting their contents into a wall of fire. Smoke filled the air, dark and choking, and Karai cried out, tearing her hands free of their restraints as Splinter lunged for her. Still the smoke poured forth, shrouding the lab in darkness, until all she could see were his eyes, burning red in the smoke and the flame at the end of the world.

_Karai…_

She squeezed her eyes closed, shaking her head in denial as the heat from the fire seared her skin.

_Karai. Open your eyes, child._

She did so with a gasp, certain that death had at last come for her, only to find that the smoke had turned white. A vast, featureless expanse of white surrounded her, no sign of Splinter or the turtles. She was alone in the endless void.

No… not alone. There was a figure in the mists before her. A figure who towered over her as it drew closer, and Karai found herself looking at a goddess, great and terrible in her beauty. With a cry, she reached out, her claws snagging on the shining fabric of the kimono the woman wore. And as she struggled, the garments faded and drifted away like mist.

"You are right, of course," a voice said, carrying with it just a hint of amusement. "This is much better."

And as Karai looked back at the woman, she found herself looking not at a goddess, but at a women just a little taller than herself, wearing jeans and a plain, pretty blouse, her dark hair falling loose over her shoulders as she smiled down at Karai. And that face…

 _She knew that face_.

A cry tore from her throat as she fell to her knees, her terrible, clawed hands covering her face in shame.

"Oh, my poor child." There was no accusation in that soft voice. No anger or condemnation. A gentle hand rested against her head, stroking lightly, and beneath the softness of that touch, her scales split and fell away, pattering to the ground like rain. Over and over, that gentle hand moved, stripping the scales away until Karai knelt, naked, in the featureless void, clad only in hair that fell down her back as it hadn't since she was a very young child.

Then, only then, did she have the courage to raise her face, streaked with tears, to meet the woman's eyes, and in a trembling voice, she uttered the word that nearly paralyzed her with hope and fear in equal measure.

"Mother?"

"Oh, Miwa," the woman sighed. "I have been waiting for you."

Those soft words undid her utterly and she fell against her mother, sobbing until she feared it would tear her apart. But those arms, strong as iron beneath their softness, drew her close and kept her from breaking.

"Oh child. My poor, lost baby. Whatever have they done to you? How am I to send you back like this?"

"Back?" Karai sniffled, looking up in confusion. "But… aren't I dead?"

"No, sweetheart." Those kind hands cupped her face, thumbs drying her tears. "But you are at a crossroads. There are dark days ahead of you, my daughter, and I see a dozen different paths for your future. Indeed, the path you walk now is but one branch of what might have been."

The mists swirled, and through them, Karai caught sight of other figures moving through the shadows. A young Japanese girl, laughing as she raced through the sewers, a turtle at her side.  _"Neesan, neesan watch what I can do!"_ They swirled again, and that same girl ran before her to a woman standing beneath a sakura tree. _"Kaasan, I got in! The school accepted me! Can we please go to the dojo to surprise Tousan? Please?"_  Again, the mists swirled, but what she had already seen was painful enough.

She shivered, leaning closer and wrapping her arms tightly around Shen's waist. "Then… what happened tonight…"

"Is one possibility of many. One that your dreaming mind fears more than most." Sighing, Shen rested her cheek against the top of Karai's head. "I do not envy you the choices that lie ahead of you, my darling. And I do not know how much of this you will remember when you wake."

"Wake…" she repeated. Panic tore through her and she looked up desperately. "No! I don't want to wake up! I don't want you to leave me!"

Smiling, Shen gently took Karai's face between her hands. "My sweet Miwa. My precious one. Don't you realize?" Leaning forward, she pressed her lips to Karai's brow, and a peace and sweetness flooded through her that left her gasping and brought with it a fresh flood of tears. "I have never left you. Not for a single day."

The mists thickened and swirled around her until all she could see was white. But though the void stole her sight and left her blind, her mother's hold on her never wavered.

_Wake, Karai. Wake, and if you can, remember me…_

* * *

"Karai!"

The harsh bark from her doorway yanked her into waking and she reached out to snag the kunai from the air, sending it spinning back to its source before she had fully opened her eyes. Rahzar yelped as the blade scored his arm, and he glared at her, his fangs bared in as snarl. "Get up. Shredder wants you."

She threw a lamp at him for good measure as he slammed her door behind him, frowning as she pushed herself to her feet and padded toward the stand in the corner that held her armour. Her life had been turned upside down over the last few days, everything she had worked for her entire life yanked out from under her. There was no reason for her to feel so… so…

_Happy._

Shaking her head, she rubbed at a tingling spot on her brow, and made herself ready for a new day.

"[Mochi](http://snuffes.tumblr.com/post/94578136713/mochi-commission-for-fantasia)" commission by snuffes

* * *

 


	9. Loss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This takes place a day or so after "Vengeance is Mine."

 

**Loss**

* * *

 

The universe was mad at her, she was certain of it. April attempted vainly to blow the sodden fringe out of her eyes as she squelched her way down the hall and toed open the door to her room. She should have been snug in a nice dry cabin right now, but noooo, thanks to a certain hot-headed lunatic, she was trudging back through the rain from the school parking lot because nobody was answering their phones and she couldn't find her Metro Card.

Dumping her dripping bag in a heap on the floor, she let herself collapse across the bed, her whimper muffled by her pillows.  _Dad's probably still at therapy, and I guess the guys are off being ninja-y. Seriously, universe, for once, can't I catch a—_

A soft sound out on the balcony broke into her thoughts, and she raised her head from the pillows with a small frown, waiting. But there was no inevitable tap on the window frame. No soft whisper of "April? You awake?" Her eyes narrowing, she drew her tessen and slipped off the bed to the floor, quietly eeling her way over to the window as her heart pounded in her chest. Slowly, she nudged the window open with the edge of her tessen, took a deep breath, and held it.

Another whisper of sound. There was definitely somebody out there.

_No breaks for me today, huh? Well, at least the rain has stopped._

Steeling herself for one final moment, she launched herself to her feet and hurled the tessen in a single fluid move that would have made Splinter proud.

An instant later, a green hand plucked it out of the air.

"Wha-  _Leo?_ " Gaping, April shoved the window open and swung herself to the fire escape, irritation lancing through her as she planted her hands on her hips.

The turtle perched on the edge of her roof looked bemusedly from the tessen in his hand to the girl below him. "April? What are you doing here?"

She folded her arms. "I  _live_  here. Sheesh, Leo, I get that I've been shuffled around a lot over the last couple of months, but I'd think you'd remember  _that_ part."

"No," he said, and there was an edge in his voice to match herown. "I mean, I thought you were at that camp… thing."

"Year-end class-retreat-slash-teambuilding-exercise? We  _were_ , until a certain hockey nut got into a testosterone contest with the football team and decided to demo his explosive pucks. We all had to come home early after the mess hall caught fire." Her foot tapped impatiently. "Which begs the question - if you thought I wasn't going to be here, what are  _you_ doing here? I—"

It was then that she stopped looking and truly  _saw_ him. The weight that hung off him was practically tangible, bowing him over like a bow about to snap. The reason he'd come here was because it was the one place he'd expected to be  _alone_.

But she'd be damned if she was going to leave him that way.

"Leo…" she clambered up to the roof next to him, and it was a measure of just how  _off_  the whole thing was that he didn't even reach out to help her. He just watched, silently handing her tessen back when she finally sat, panting, on the ledge next to him.

She took the weapon from him, the crease between her brows deepening as his fingers brushed hers. He was so  _cold._ She wasn't even annoyed anymore – there was no room for anything in her now but worry. "Leo, what happened?"

He looked at her with eyes that were raw and red. Haunted. And then he opened his mouth and he told her.

He told her everything.

She listened as his words dropped into the night between them, and the more he spoke, the less important everything else became. The aborted trip, the walk through the rain, the damp from the ledge beneath her soaking through the denim to cling to her skin – none of that really mattered. Not in the face of  _this._

April stared down at her lap, her fingers knotting together as the horrible story just kept getting worse, a reflection of the twisting emotions inside her. Not long ago, she would have felt no qualms about declaring that she hated Karai. She still had nightmares about the smirk on the other girl's face as she'd delivered her into the cold metal hands of the Kraang while making her father dance like a puppet for her amusement.

And yet… She'd  _felt_ Karai's confusion on that rooftop. The girl who'd sat there pouring her heart out had felt like a completely different person that the one who had tried to kill her on multiple occasions. And April, more than anyone else in the world, knew the terror of plunging through freefall, helpless to stop yourself as that vat of churning green loomed closer and closer until it became the entire world, filling your lungs and stopping your heart in your chest. Nobody deserved that. No one.

…only April had climbed out unharmed. What happened to Karai, she couldn't even imagine. She must have been so  _scared_. And the others…

Leo didn't have to tell her what he was thinking. She knew him well enough to be able to read it in every hunched, broken line of his body. Every beat of the heel that kicked against the wall as he talked screamed it as if he'd spoken it aloud.

_If only… if only… if only…_

"Leo," she said, reaching for him.

And for the first time since he had taken her hand in the dark beneath the city so long ago, he recoiled from her, his arm coming up to block hers. "Don't," he said, his voice breaking. "April, please. Just… just don't."

It was the crack in his voice that did it. That broken little squeak that reminded her he was a year younger than she was. They were both still kids, for crying out loud – and so, for that matter, was Karai. And that, suddenly and unexpectedly, made her furious. April drew back her arm, watching almost detachedly as her tessen descended to whack him across the shoulder.

"Ow!" The exclamation burst from him in a yelp as he stared at her, eyes wide. "April,  _what the heck_?"

"You think I don't understand?" She could feel the heat rising to her face, turning her the notorious O'Neil Red, and she was suddenly glad her dad wasn't home, because there was no way he'd miss this much yelling. "You think I don't know what it's like to watch someone you love change in front of your eyes and have no way to stop it? To beat yourself up over and over, thinking 'oh, if I'd just done  _this'_ or 'if I'd only moved  _that_ ', maybe I wouldn't be alone tonight? Replaying it again and again in your head, trying to figure out the one thing you could have done differently to stop everything from going wrong?" He blocked her second swing at his shoulder, ready for it this time, but she didn't care. Actually hitting him wasn't the point anyway.

"Because  _I know_ , Leo." April's voice was shaking now. "I know  _exactly_  what it's like. How those feelings coat you like an oil slick until you feel like you're drowning. And I know what it's like to shut yourself off and try to deal with all that awfulness alone, and I am  _not_  going to let the same thing happen to you!" She punctuated each of those final words with a jab to the bridge of his shell with her tessen until massive fingers encircled her wrist and held it fast.

She'd only ever given him The Glare once before, when he was trying to stand between her and her father, but by gosh, he was getting it now. He stared back at her, dumbfounded, as her tirade wound down and left her nearly breathless, her hands clenched so tightly that her knuckles were white.

And as blue eyes stared into blue, she could see that he hadn't even considered the parallels. She watched realization dawn across his weary face, followed in rapid progression by anger, guilt, regret, and other things too complicated to name. Then, his expression was lost as he slumped toward her and his head came to rest against her shoulder.

April let out her breath in a long sigh as she wrapped an arm around his shell, resting her cheek against his head. She knew all too well how awful a burden he carried; she could at least try to make it a little lighter.

So, for a long while, they just sat there, watching the cars pass by below them as some of the dampness dried from her jeans. He was the only one of the turtles who ever did this with her – all of the others were too excited, or awkward, or uncertain in her presence, and couldn't help talking to fill the silence. Leo was the only one who was ever content just to sit and enjoy the quiet together.

Only when she felt some of the tension drain from the taut muscles beneath her hand did she venture to speak again.

"How's Sensei?"

Leo sighed. "Pretty bad. He doesn't want to see anyone right now, so we're all kind of steering clear of the dojo. He needs to meditate, I think, and he's messed up enough that he can't do that if we're around."

April winced. "Poor Sensei. But…Donnie can create another retromutagen, right?"

"He's on it," Leo said. "But he said that the mutagen smelled weird, and he wants a sample before he can risk making anything. That isn't even taking into account the fact that we have to collect enough mutagen to make the retromutagen to begin with, but going back to Stockman's lab is way too risky right now." A low groan escaped him and he buried his head against her. "It's just all gone so  _wrong._ "

April set her tessen on the ledge next to her so that she could rest her hand against his head. "Yeah, not gonna lie, you've had better rescues." She smiled a little as he let out a halfhearted, bitter laugh against her shoulder. "But you  _will_  figure this out, Leo. It's what you guys do. And whatever Donnie needs from me – blood, sweat, tears, whatever – it's yours. Whatever I can do, okay? I'm still not sure what this freaky thing in my head actually does, but it seems to do pretty good with Kraang stuff, so if you need me to be your mutant tracker—"

Her words faltered as Leo raised his head to look at her. His eyes may have been red still, and full of sorrow, and guilt, and regret, but that crushing despair was gone.

"Thanks, April," he said quietly.

"Any time," she answered, and smiled as his arm stole around her waist.

After another moment of silence, their heads resting together as they watched the river of traffic flow on below them, Leo asked, tentatively, "Did Casey really burn down your camp?"

"Only about half of it. He's got detention till he's, like, thirty, and last I heard, he was grounded so bad he'll be lucky if he ever sees the sun again."

"I don't know which worries me more – the fact that he did it, or the fact that I'm not even that surprised."

"Tell me about it," April snorted. "But hey, since my tutoring nights are free for the foreseeable future, why don't you guys come over for pizza? My treat. We can plan our next steps in Operation: Find Snake Girl. I promise I won't even make fun of you when you do the Captain thing."

Their heads still pressed together so she couldn't see his face, but she could feel him smile, even though he gave her no answer. He wasn't ready to say yes.

But he didn't say no, either.

* * *

For almost a week, she kept her distance from the lair. She'd refused to let Leo or the guys deal with the loss of their erstwhile sister alone, but Splinter… Splinter was different. Every time she looked at her tessen, she could hear his words echoing in her memory.

_I had intended to one day pass this on to my daughter…._

_…I would like to think she would have turned out as well as you have, my child._

Splinter needed help, no doubt, but April was fairly certain that her presence around the lair would just be rubbing salt in the wound. A reminder of what had happened, taunting him with the fact that she'd emerged from the mutagen without a scratch on her.

But when she stumbled across the glowing canister near the swingset in the park on her way home, she was left with no choice. She couldn't just leave it there where kids could get hurt, and taking it home with her was out of the question - there was no way she was letting that stuff anywhere  _near_  her dad ever again. Gingerly tucking it into her bag, she steeled herself and slipped into the sewers.

The lair, when she entered, was quiet and full of ghosts. Rubbing her arms, April looked around the familiar room, her mind filling in the blanks where Karai would have been when they'd brought her home. Standing on the ledge, waiting for approval from her estranged father. Climbing the stairs to the dojo. Sitting with her…her brothers. For one fleeting moment, Splinter had finally regained a piece of what he'd lost, and April felt sick with the unfairness of it. Having Karai around – it would have been weird, she had to admit, and she wasn't sure just quite how she'd have dealt with that. It wasn't as if she _liked_  the other girl. But Splinter deserved to have  _something_  go right after all he and his family had done. After how hard they had worked to do what was right and good. It just wasn't _fair._

Shaking herself a little, April moved toward Donnie's lab. She didn't need to call out to know that the turtles were out. Even if the silence hadn't been a dead giveaway – the lair was  _never_  silent when Mikey was in residence – that burgeoning  _other_ sense told her so. Not that she could do anything useful with it yet, like using it to track the guys down when Splinter was putting her through stealth training or anything. She just… usually knew when they were nearby.

And when they weren't.

The combination lock on the door of the cabinet where Donnie stored his mutagen samples stymied her for a minute, though she understood the need for it given Mikey's tendency to taste anything that wasn't nailed down. After a moment, though, she gave a little smile, entered her birthdate, and placed the canister of mutagen securely on a shelf before locking the door once more.

She was nearly to the turnstiles when her steps slowed, and she paused with a hand on the crash bar. Glancing over her shoulder at the dojo, she worried her bottom lip a little as she thought. Then, with a soft sigh of defeat, she turned around and headed toward the kitchen.

When her dad had—had—  _changed, s_ he'd forgotten to eat half the time, until her aunt brought her things and guilted her into finishing them. She knew just how easy it was to lose yourself in the face of all that sorrow.  _That_ , at least, was something she could fix.

April set the kettle on the stove to boil and rummaged through the fridge, humming thoughtfully as she rooted through the containers. Performing a careful stratigraphy as she dug deeper into the contents of the fridge, tossing out a container of spoiled milk and two distinctly furry apples as she did so and hoping that she wasn't ruining one of Donnie's science experiments in doing so, she finally settled on a container of rice bearing Murakami's logo.

It took two clouds of smoke and a great deal of coughing before she found the eggs that actually had egg inside them, but it wasn't long after that before she was arranging a bowl of rice and a small plate of omelette on a tray alongside a pot of tea and single chipped cup.

For the final touch, she went to the freezer and opened the door, accepting the bit of frozen cheese that the mutant within helpfully held out to her with an eager 'mew'. Gingerly, April scratched behind Ice Cream Kitty's frozen ear, and was rewarded with a purr like bubbles blown in milk through a straw as the little cat rubbed her head against April's hand. Licking her sticky fingers clean as she shut the freezer and returned the counter, April set the cheesesicle on the tray and went to rinse off the rest of her hand.

As quietly as she could, she stole up the stairs toward the dojo, not even daring to breathe as she bent to set the tray down next to the door. Relief flooding through her, she straightened quickly and turned to go.

"I thought you might be avoiding us."

April winced and picked the tray up again before peeking around the doorframe. Splinter sat beneath the tree as he had on so many other occasions, outwardly as calm and implacable as ever, eyes closed in meditation, yet something about him seemed… off. Her sensei had always been a tower of strength; she had never thought she would ever see him looking so… so fragile.

"It's not that," she said, crossing the room slowly, still uncertain of her welcome. "I just… I thought you might need some time."

She knelt as she set the tray down before him, and when she glanced up again, his eyes caught hers and held them.

He  _knew_. Of course he knew. She felt her cheeks growing red as she looked down at the tray she had prepared, suddenly feeling so  _stupid._ On the periphery of her vision, she saw him glance at her offering for the first time, saw the twitch of his fingers as he realized what she had done.

"I don't want my being here to hurt you," she finished, laying the bitter kernel of truth out in the open.

Her words hung between them in the silence, until his quiet sigh swept them away. "At first, perhaps," he said, and there was a weariness in his voice that clawed at her heart. "But I have had much time to think. One of my children is lost to me again, and I do not know how long she will stay lost. But it occurs to me, I have no wish to lose another."

April flinched, closing her eyes against the stinging that pricked at them. "Sensei, I'm sorry," she said, and it was an effort to speak past the lump in her throat. "I'm sorry for what happened. And for avoiding you. And I'm sorry…"

She opened her eyes again, looking anywhere but at him, and her gaze drifted to the worn spot on the carpet where Splinter's students usually knelt in waiting. Where, she realized with dawning horror, Karai would have knelt for one bittersweet day. Karai. His true daughter. A  _real_  kunoichi.

"I'm sorry I can't… be more."

As soon as she said the words, she wished she could take them back. She could practically feel the weight of his gaze as he stared at her. Then, in a fluid motion, he rose to his feet.

"Wait here," he instructed, his voice pinning her to the spot as surely as if he'd chained her there. She waited, her hands clenched in her lap to stop them from trembling, as he vanished into his room.

When he returned a few moments later, it was to kneel beside her, on her side of the tray. This close, she could feel the reassuring warmth of him, which had been the bulwark of strength against which she had shored herself during those dark times she had been without her father. He reached out, and she blinked in surprise as he set a second cup on the tray in front of her. This one was smaller, finer, the reverence with which he treated it bestowing upon it an importance out of proportion with its size.

"There is something you must remember, April." Splinter picked up the teapot and swirled it once before pouring it into the little cup. "This family does not value you because you are a kunoichi. Or a mutant. Or human." He poured tea into the second cup, and set the pot carefully back onto the tray. "We value you because you are  _April O'Neil_. And there is only one person in this world who can be that. Do you understand?"

With trembling hands, April reached out to cradle the small cup, letting the warmth of the ceramic sink into her chilled hands as she breathed deeply of the fragrant steam. And it was a much steadier breath she let out as she answered, " _Hai, Sensei."_

His hand, gentle and strong, drifted to rest against her shoulder, and at last she brought herself to glance up. The look he turned on her had pain in it still, but pain overlaid with gratitude and pride.

Once, he would have held her.  _Had_  held her, as she had wept into his robes over a father who was lost. But though it was still too soon to renew that level of familiarity between them, the touch on her shoulder was just as secure, just as solid, as his arms around her had once been. And as he lifted his own cup and they drank together, in that moment, it was  _enough._

* * *

_ _

 

"[Loss](http://ruslanan.tumblr.com/image/98556107926)" by ruslanan

 

[Big Sister'd](http://heartofanalterego.deviantart.com/art/Big-Sister-d-546960763) by heartofanalterego

[And the animated version!](http://heartofanalterego.deviantart.com/art/Big-Sister-d-GIF-547104448)

 


	10. Found

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a companion coda to "Loss". Owing to its extremely high probability of getting Jossed, I haven't decided if it's actually going to be canon to Falling yet, but it was a fun experiment to write.

 

**Found (an interlude)**

* * *

 

_We value you because you are April O'Neil._

Splinter's words rang in her mind as she sat on her bed, her arms wrapped tightly around Titian. So much had changed lately, it had taken those words to make her realize that she wasn't even sure who April O'Neil  _was_  anymore.

Carefully setting Titian aside with a little pat to his soft plush head, April flopped down across the bed and leaned over the side, lifting up the dangling comforter to peer into the shadows underneath. Reaching past the hulking shapes of several action figures and one seriously desiccated slice of pizza –  _dammit,_   _Mikey!_  – she hooked a finger under the lid of a shoebox and hauled it out from its nest of dust bunnies.

Carefully brushing the dust off the lid, she opened the box and stared at the contents within.

Periscope. Radio listening device. Temperature sensor. Gloves.

Bouncing off the bed, she went to her closet and tugged out the oversized hoodie, slipping it on and zipping it up before returning to shove the contents of her spy kit into its deep pockets. With a nod of sa satisfaction, she yanked the hood over her hair and picked up her Tphone, thumbing through her contacts until she found Irma's last message and typed in a quick response.

**_Sure, Id luv to come over tonight! Got some things 2 take care of first. BBS. 3 u._ **

Slipping the phone back into her pocket, she opened her window and slipped out into the night.

* * *

Her phone buzzed. Again. Skidding to a halt on the roof, she yanked the phone out and thumbed her way through the latest batch of incoming messages.  _Ah ha!_  Buried amongst the flood of messages welcoming their board moderator back into the game, one of her most reliable contacts on her neglected website had posted a single photograph. A blurry image of a hand holding three enormous metallic scales, captioned with an address. The address of the building on which she stood.

 _This is the right place._  She shivered, stowing the phone again.  _The sightings all led here._

"So where are you?" she murmured.

"Hey there, princessssss."

April gasped, whirling, her hand already darting toward the tessen, but she had barely moved before thick coils wrapped around her, pinning her arms to her sides. She struggled frantically, the hood falling away from her face as the metallic scales dug into her for her troubles, but it was useless. She was stuck fast. April opened her mouth to cry out, and the coils tightened, driving what little air she had from her lungs until her cry emerged as a soft, breathless squeak.

"Ah-ah," a sibilant voice chided from above her. "Thissss is girl time. No boyssss allowed."

_Oh, Karai…._

She was still beautiful, in her own terrible way, though April couldn't help shivering in terror. Her mammalian hindbrain quailed beneath the stare of the cold eyes watching her, and whatever Kraang she had in her seemed to have abandoned her completely.

_Thanks a lot. Stupid Kraang genes. You couldn't warn a girl?_

April strained, trying to say something,  _anything_ , but all she could manage was an expression of shock and regret.

"I know, right?" Karai said, her voice ringing with defensive pride. "It's messssed up. But then, thissss kind of thing isssn't exactly new to you, issss it?"

The coils loosened just enough for April to draw a gasping breath. "What are you mmmph—" was all April managed to get out before the coils tightened again, one of Karai's serpentine arms wrapping around her face for good measure. April shivered as a forked tongue darted out to tickle her cheek.

"You know, I'm not even ssssure myssself," Karai said. She shifted, leaning down to prop herself casually on one of her own coils, like some kind of reptilian teenager at slumber party. "We go through ssso many changesss at thisss time in our livessss. Sssso many new insssstinctsss all knocking around in here." Karai tapped at her head with her free hand… snake… thing. "You can take the girl out of the ssssnake, blah blah blah. You know how it issss." She laughed, her coils tightening even more. "At firsssst, I thought maybe I sssshould eat you. You know, vengeanccce for taking my placcce and all that. Came to your housssse and everything. Who knew thissss tongue would work sssso  _great_  for tracking you by ssscent?" She patted April's hair with the smaller serpent. "Turnssss out Leo got there firssst though."

And suddenly, the flippant glibness was gone. The serpentine head tilted, Karai's tongue darting out to taste the air around April as she regarded her. "I heard what you ssaid. Did you mean it? The blood, ssweat, and tearss part?"

April's eyes widened in sudden understanding. Slowly, ever so carefully, she nodded.

"Huh," was all Karai said.

In another instant, the moment was gone, every mask slamming back into place and sealing the crack of vulnerability through which the real Karai had shone. "Well, you'll jusssst have to wait," Karai said. "I haven't deccccided what  _I_  want to do yet. I kind of like being like thissss.  _Nobody_  tellsssss me what to do anymore." She grinned, baring fangs that glistened with drops of milky venom. "But I'll keep it in mind, anyway. No telling the othersssss you've sssseen me though. I really will come back and bite you if you ruin the surprisssse. And all your little friendssss while I'm at it."

Abruptly, the coils dropped away. April fell, gasping to the rooftop, almost grateful for the sting of the gravel against her palms. As her lungs heaved, she looked up, and had a moment of smug gratification as the grin on her own face actually wiped the smirk from Karai's.

"Hey," April said, only wheezing a little. "I know how annoying it is to have maniacs with delusions of grandeur deciding your fate for you. It's about time you chose your own, right?"

Karai stared, and for just a moment, the mask slipped again as the ghost of a smile drifted across the snake-girl's face. "Right," she said. The pointed tip of her tail lashed out, flipping April's hood back over her face and momentarily blinding her. "Sssee you around, princessssss."

By the time April got the hood off her head and ran to the edge of the roof, there was no sign of Karai. None, save the silver scale gleaming on the ledge. Carefully, April picked it up, mindful of its razor edges, and slipped it into a pocket as something Leo had told her about Karai once drifted through her mind. Smiling, she zipped the hoodie up and saluted into the night.

"You're welcome."


	11. <<Message Not Delivered>>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a thing I had to get out of my system to address my one big problem with the season 2 finale (it takes place immediately after) so that I could focus on the parts I DO love (everything else)

She’d started composing the message months ago, and it had taken the end of the world to get her to finish it. She’d done so an hour ago, but it took her a while before she could bring herself to do anything with it. Finally, Irma hit send, and tapped impatiently on her mouse as the send button did that spinny “loading” thing.

While she waited, she leaned back in her chair and spun it around, letting the organized clutter of her room blur as she spun. Every exposed surface spoke of the insanity of the past two years. The multitude of instruments, mainly guitars and keyboards, crammed into every space that would fit. Drafts and scribbles of sheet music everywhere, piles of it propping up cups full of half-drunk coffee in ‘Lairdman Academy for the Performing Arts’ mugs that she really would clean up at some point, honest. Her walls plastered with early concept drafts of the band’s posters, each one featuring a different name as they’d cycled through them. It had seemed so important, up until a few days ago.

Too important.

But now, it didn’t matter. All classes were cancelled, all deadlines on hold while the world held its breath and tried to figure out whether or not it was going to keep spinning.

Irma stopped her chair and looked back at the screen. Still loading. With a deep breath, she switched over to the other window, where news reports from New York battled for relevancy with half-coherent Tweeter posts and blurred cell phone pictures and videos.

The discordant plink of the my.face messenger broke into her thoughts, and she switched over to the blinking tab.

 

**Game_Maestro:**

_Hey, you’ve got family in the city, right? You okay?_

 

Despite the situation, she couldn’t help but smile. Hiro looked like he’d walked straight out of the lead role of a shoujo anime, and knew it. He milked the stoic, distant, foreign student thing dry, knowing how much it drove the girls at Lairdman nuts. But she also knew he’d been born and raised about three blocks from her, and though he rarely spoke in class or at practice, it was messages like this, which completely dropped the act, that let you know you were part of his inner circle. That he actually cared. And right now, she could use all the caring she could get. They all could.

 

**Hipchick_2447:**

_Some. Most are upstate, and everyone still in the city when the shit went down made it to em._

 

She paused, biting her lip before adding:

 

**Hipchick_2447:**

_Still got some friends AWOL though. You?_

 

**Game_Maestro:**

_Dad’s fine. You dodged the question._

 

She had. The problem was, she didn’t actually _know_ the answer to the question. Frowning, she called the message she’d written -- still loading -- back up onto the screen.

 

> **_My.Face Message_ **
> 
> **To: A. O’Neil**
> 
> **From: I. Langenstein**
> 
> _Hey April,_
> 
> _Had that dream last night that I used to have back in sixth grade all the time, and it made me think of you. I know when I got into Lairdman we said we’d keep in touch when I moved away, but we both know how high school is. And it’s been crazy here. Awesome, but so crazy, and every free second I have is spent in practice, and then I got into those summer programs, and they’ll help SO much if I decide to try for Juliard, and suddenly it’s another year gone._
> 
> _I don’t even know if my messages are reaching you anymore. Last year after that weirdness went down with the big alien ship things in NYC, I tried to check in, but my computer fritzed. I took it to the IT department -- I’m telling you, one of the things that sucks most about boarding school is that you’re depending on them for EVERYTHING -- and I’m not sure the new IT guy’s all that. The guy’s got, like, ONE expression, and the way he talks, I’m starting to suspect he’s part computer himself. He keeps getting me to repeat things whenever I talk to him. I swear, my laptop’s been even buggier since he fixed it._
> 
> _Anyway. If my messages ARE getting through, I guess I can understand why you wouldn’t answer. I never thought it’d be so easy to drift apart. Or that it would happen so fast. But if we can fix this, I’d really like to. There’s always going to be deadlines, and five hours of practice after school, and all that, but even though I’ve got friends here, nobody really  UNDERSTANDS things like you did. Like, how cool it was to see the rats on the subway tracks building a nest for their babies. Or why gluten-free food doesn’t HAVE to taste like ass. Seriously, do you know how hard it is to get a gluten-free bagel out here that doesn’t taste like styrofoam?_
> 
> _Guh, why is this so hard? What I’m trying to say is, I miss you. And if you ever want to talk, I don’t even have your number anymore, but mine is_
> 
> _Oh god, I just saw the news from New York. April, please, just send me a line to let me know you’re okay. Please?_
> 
> _Be safe._
> 
> **< <Message not delivered>>**
> 
> **CLICK TO QUEUE**

 

Sighing, Irma hit the queue button and closed the tab, leaving her faced with Hiro’s message again. Taking off her glasses for a minute so that she could rub her eyes, she settled them back in place and put her fingers back on the keyboard.

 

**Hipchick_2447:**

_I don’t know what okay is anymore._

 

**Game_Maestro:**

_Join the club. Everyone else has checked in with fam. All okay. Wanna go play something loud and angry for a while?_

 

Despite everything, Irma couldn’t hold back a quiet laugh as she shook her head. This school was hell sometimes. Every waking second spent practicing, or writing music, or nursing the wounds on your hands when your calluses cracked, or falling over from lack of sleep. But the five of them had come together to form the band because despite all that, music took them away from all the other crap they had to deal with. They may not all agree sometimes, but when they were in the middle of that _thing_ that happened when the music just gelled, none of it mattered. Nothing else mattered.

 

**Hipchick_2447:**

_Meet you at the practice space in 5._

 

Nobody said a word when they met up at the practice portable. It wasn’t that kind of meeting. They just plugged in, cranked the amps, and played until everything went away. Until confused, aching hearts started beating normally again. Until they blew the transformer and took out the power grid for half the campus.

Including the building where the IT department housed their surprisingly robust servers. And as the campus network went down, Irma’s phone switched over to a mobile network, and the my.face app running in the background finally found a gap in the firewall that had surrounded it since the summer break.

 

> **< <message delivered>>**

 

* * *

 

“Red? You okay?”

April jerked at the sound of Casey’s voice, tearing her eyes from the message on her phone. “Uh, yeah. I’m fine. It’s nothing.”

Casey folded his arms, raising a brow at her. “Doesn’t look like nothing.”

“Nothing I want to deal with right now,” she amended, with a pointed glance toward the next room, where the brothers’ tense vigil continued.

Casey’s expression softened, and he hugged her to his side in quiet understanding before he returned to the chopping board.

April had her part of the soup to tend to, but before she went back to it, she closed the new message that had just arrived and scrolled down through her messages until she found the one she’d been looking for, sent at the end of August.

 

> **< <From: I. Langenstein. Subject: “HEY GIRL GUESS WHOS MOVING BACK TO THE CITY!!!>>**

 

April turned her phone off and put it away. Whatever that was, it could wait. They had more important things to deal with now.


End file.
